She Never Felt Like She Belonged in Public Spaces
Chapter 12 of “Hold On”: Gurdwara Bhai Joga Singh Peshawar 2007
(N.B. I’m writing a novel, a chapter a week, here on Medium. Find out why I write here, start from Chapter 1 here, and always feel free to give me feedback in the comments. I write here for the community.)
Gurmit and Hira entered a spacious hall that had double-storied arches on four sides. The walls and pillars were encrusted with thousands of mirrors, and the sudden brightness caused by the reflection of the lights on the mirrors made Hira halt abruptly, adjusting her eyes. The hall was wide and open, with the roof climbing away from the center as if reaching toward the heavens. The intricate sheesh work was interspersed with cobalt blue tiles. Contrasting tones of crimson and gold had been used to paint motifs on the tiles, and flowers wreathed the balconies. Walking through the narrow alleys of Mohallah Jogan Shah, Hira did not expect to be spellbound by such a huge building. She could see two skylights on the ceiling that allowed natural sunlight to filter in. The central part of the hall was well-lit as a result of the natural sunlight. Gurmit, then, told her about the history of this Gurdwara in Peshawar.
The Gurdwara was built by Hari Singh Nalwa, one of the Generals of Maharaja Ranjit Singh, to celebrate the sacrifice and confessions of Bhai Joga Singh. Gurmit explained to Hira the importance of Bhai Joga Singh. He was under training in Anand Pur with Guru Gobind Singh. Joga Singh was eventually brought back to Peshawar by his parents for his marriage. During the ceremony, he received a message from Guru ji to come back to Anandpur. Bhai Joga Singh left Peshawar immediately despite pleading and requests from his parents and relatives to stay back. On his way back to Anandpur he stayed in Hoshiarpur. There, his gaze fell upon a woman and he was infatuated with her. He planned to enter her house to meet his lover but after many attempts, he could not enter because there was a guard in the form of a guru who would stop him. Then Bhai Joga Singh realized his mistake and returned to Anandpur. He confessed to Guru Gobind Singh. Guru ji told him how Guru Ji himself had guarded him against a great sin. Hira was moved by Gurmit’s way of telling this long story and her affection for this Gurdwara. Gurmit described how she cleaned the Gurdwara every weekend with some of her friends from their community.
This story intrigued Hira greatly. She had never heard of women gathering together to perform such charitable rituals in the mosque of her neighborhood. In fact, everyone was isolated from each other, and no sense of communal solidarity was present. Hira was especially blown away by the fact that Gurmit had somewhere other than her home and school, where she could be present and take up space without fear. Hira had always been taught that, aside from her home and school, everywhere else was dangerous and hostile. She had never felt like she belonged on the roads or in parks or any other public space. She felt envious of Gurmit for she met with other girls from her community at the Gurdwara and shared with them a sense of solidarity.
Hira’s interest and skill in math developed after her association with Gurmit Kaur. Gurmit was a tall girl with a round face and wide eyes. She would always take extra interest in math class and would always argue with the teacher about different ways of solving math problems. Hira would often ask Sadia to sit with Gurmit to solve problems but Sadia was more interested in playing during the break. Hira would then discuss her questions with Gurmit during the break because she never dared to ask questions from the teacher in class. During these interactions, Hira also came to know that hundreds of Sikh families had been living in Peshawar and they never left Pakistan after separation in 1947. That’s why all of them spoke Pashto as their mother tongue.
One day, Hira and Gurmit were sitting in the lawn while other girls played during the break. Gurmit said that her birthday was coming the day after tomorrow.
“Hira, errr, we’ve been, umm, friends for quite a long time and, I, uhh, know your situation, you know with your parents but, would you like to come to my party at my abode, I mean if your parents agree”. Hira thought it would be good to join Gurmit because she had never celebrated her own or her siblings’ birthdays at her house and also never joined any of her friends' or relatives’ birthday parties.
The next day, Hira told Gurmit that her father had allowed her to go to Gurmit’s place and he would pick her up from her house after he got free from his office.
After school, Hira and Gurmit walked through Namak Mandi, and Mohallah Jogan Shah’s narrow streets and high buildings made with small bricks. Walking in those streets was like weaving through a maze. They reached Gurmit’s house in fifteen minutes. Gurmit was the eldest daughter of Jatinder Singh and Preeti Kaur. There was no tradition of sending girls for higher education and jobs in Sikh families just like many other traditional families of Peshawar. But Jatinder Singh was committed to changing this tradition and wanted Gurmit to become a professor at a university. Preeti welcomed both Hira and Gurmit. Gurmit had invited three other friends from her neighborhood as well. Jatinder Singh arrived after they had sat for half an hour with Preeti. Jatinder was a tradesman like the majority of Sikhs in Peshawar and was in the spice business. Sikhs in Peshawar took pride in being traders and businesspeople.
After they had gathered, Gurmit’s mother brought the cake which was studded with several lit candles. Hira was surprised to see the love of Gurmit’s mother for her daughter. Her own relationship with her mother was fraught with tension. Her mother had always been plagued by fear and concern for her daughters, therefore, spent most of her time admonishing them for one thing or another. As a result, no time had been left for the development of a healthy and loving bond.
The cake was quite big and was decorated with colorful flowers made out of cream. Gurmit cut the cake and everyone wished her. Gurmit’s mother had cooked delicious food as well. There were different types of pakoras, chaat, saag, makki ki roti, pulao and mutton ka salan. Everything was delicious.
After having food, Gurmit asked Hira if she wanted to visit their Gurdwara, as her father would pick her up after his office. Time was on their side for once. Hira had heard of Gurmit’s weekends being spent in the Gurdwara, so she said, “Sure, it’s gonna be fun!”.
