Destiny Is Never in Our Hands
Chapter 22 of “Hold On’’: Jinnah College for Women Peshawar 2009
(N.B. I’m writing a novel, a chapter a week, here on Medium. Find out why I write here, start from Chapter 1 here, and always feel free to give me feedback in the comments. I write here for the community.)
After completing her matriculation from Lady Griffith School, Hira was admitted to Jinnah College in Peshawar. She knew little about the college, but her friends Gurmit and Sadia had heard of its prestige. Established in the 1960s, Jinnah College for Women was a pioneering initiative of the University of Peshawar to promote women education and had a long-standing rivalry with Islamia College. All three friends had managed to secure admission to this esteemed institution due to their high scores in the matriculation exams.
Hira found solace in the lush green, expansive lawns of Jinnah College. She met many inspiring teachers, but the most influential was Ms. Sana, a recent addition to the faculty. Ms. Sana was very dissimilar to other women that Hira had encountered throughout her life, in her limited social experience. She was attentive to every one of her students and encouraged them to think creatively and explore the world. She was convinced about the talent and uniqueness of her students and motivated them to be sure and confident about themselves. Hira began to dream of pursuing higher education at a University, inspired by Ms. Sana’s guidance.
Ms. Sana would often take her students to the cafeteria, treating them to tea and snacks while discussing English literature and current events. One day, Gurmit asked Ms. Sana about her recent marriage and her husband’s move to Peshawar.
Sana confirmed their suspicions and shared the story of how she and Sanwal had met and how their relationship developed over time. Before sharing her feelings with Sanwal, she had talked to her parents, and received their consent. Sana revealed that Sanwal was interested in her but couldn’t find the courage to express it. She was drawn to his simplicity and his passion for making a difference in society through his work in economic policy. However, he had become frustrated with his government job and was considering an academic career, which would require a PhD.
One day, while sitting in the front garden of Government College University Lahore, Sana had asked Sanwal if he was interested in taking their relationship a step further beyond friendship. Sanwal coughed, straightened his hair nervously with his right hand, and said, “Sana, I really like you and have been planning to propose to you, but I couldn’t dare. Thank God you spoke up.” Before discussing anything else, Sana then told Sanwal about her plans to move back to Peshawar to teach at Jinnah College and that she wouldn’t relocate to Lahore if they got married. She asked, “Is it possible for you to relocate to Peshawar?” Sanwal replied, “I can go anywhere in the world to be with you.”
Sana had smiled, her eyes and face radiating happiness. Sanwal explained that he was no longer interested in continuing his job as an economist in the planning department of the government. He said, “ he was often treated as assistant to government officers and couldn’t provide independent analysis.’’ He mentioned that he was often asked to write policy briefs or make presentations in a hurry, without being given the opportunity to explore economic challenges in depth. He told Sana that he had heard about numerous international agencies and consultancies operating in Peshawar, providing policy support to the government of KP.
Sana, not knowing much about the topic, had wondered why government officers, who are hired through a competitive process and considered the ‘cream’ of society, don’t do the work themselves instead of hiring international agencies and companies. Sanwal explained that the state capacity in Pakistan was too low and government officers generally did not want to work themselves. They secured international assistance through loans and grants to hire international and local consultants to perform tasks they should be doing on their own. Most officers were more interested in their next lucrative posting or pleasing politicians, outsourcing thinking and writing work to consultants.
Sanwal admitted he wouldn’t be very happy in this sector but thought it would be beneficial for him to work in such organizations for a few years before pursuing a PhD in the US. He suggested that Sana consider pursuing a PhD in literature, saying they both could enjoy studying and traveling in the US. Sana agreed, but she said she wanted to teach at Jinnah College in Peshawar for a few years, to give back to the place she learned at, before applying for a PhD.
This fascinating story captivated the girls in Hira’s class, who had always heard that women move to the cities where their husbands live, often leaving families, education, and lucrative careers behind. In this case, however, Sanwal had moved to Peshawar with Sana. Something like this was virtually unheard of and the girls were fascinated.
After hearing and contemplating this story, Hira was lost in her thoughts for a while. She wondered whether she would ever be able to find such love with a man who would be willing to move wherever Hira wanted to live. Hira then reflected on her past and family, realizing that such blessings might not be meant for people like her, who struggle daily to have enough food to survive. Destiny is never in our hands; my parents would someday arrange my marriage to a stranger probably without asking me, and I would move to his house forever, cooking his food and washing his laundry. As Hira was lost in these thoughts, Gurmit nudged her and asked why she wasn’t paying attention to the conversation around them, where everyone was discussing their future plans with Sana. Hira pulled herself out of her reverie of hopeless thoughts and focused her attention to the group surrounding her.
