Protecting Your Child Against Online Predators
What every parent needs to know — by Maggie DeBoard, Chief of Police, Herndon, Virginia
Every day, in every community, innocent children are being groomed and victimized by online child predators. They live and work among us in plain sight, but hunt for victims online, unseen, behind false personas they create to lure and entice unsuspecting minors for sexual purposes. So who are these predators?
His female victims were between 14 and 16 years of age. He met juveniles online through MeetMe, a popular chat application, eventually moving his chats to KIK Messenger, an application allowing the sharing of videos and pictures. He “groomed” the girls with normal conversations, which eventually turned sexual in nature, requesting they send videos or pictures of themselves in various stages of undress. He met at least one of the girls and engaged in sexual relations with her on numerous occasions, videotaping the sexual acts with his phone.
His name is Patrick Friedel. He grew up in Iowa, received a bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University and a master’s degree from the University of Cairo, Egypt. At the time of his offense and arrest in 2014, he was working at the U.S. Department of Interior as an International Relations Analyst.
In October 2013, a message was posted by a child predator on a website created for exchanging messages, videos, and pictures relating to “taboo subjects”, advertising an interest in starting an “incest family”. A law enforcement officer, acting in an undercover capacity, began communicating with the predator via email and live chats over Skype.
Posing as a parent, the officer fictitiously told the predator he had two children, a girl and a boy ages 9 and 10. During the ongoing conversations, the predator made plans to travel from Vancouver, British Columbia to Virginia in order to sexually abuse and rape both children. The predator expressed the desire to permanently relocate to Virginia, move in with the “parent”, and continue sexually abusing his kids on a regular basis. After traveling to Virginia in order to carry out the acts, the child predator was arrested. Her name was Theresa Goddard.
For many reading this article, the description of these predators likely does not fit the image you envisioned. The facts are that child predators, sometimes referred to as pedophiles, operate as otherwise functional members of our society. They are adults you interact with every day -neighbors, coaches, teachers, lawyers, corporate executives, and yes, even police officers. There is no definitive profile to assist us in identifying who these individuals are, which makes prevention and intervention that much more critical. And that is the responsibility of every parent.
How Do Predators Connect With Kids Online?
Online predators meet kids through various social networking sites such as Facebook, KIK, Snapchat, Instagram and Vine. Popular messaging applications such as WeChat, Whatsapp, Facebook Messenger, and Skype are used to communicate in chat rooms or group chats. According to the Journal of Adolescent Health (2010), the majority of Internet-initiated sex crimes against children are initiated in chat rooms.
Research has shown 65% of online sex offenders used the victim’s social networking site to gain home and school information about the victim.
Grooming Their Victims
According to the Internet Crimes Against Children (ICAC) Taskforce, a national network of 61 coordinated task forces representing over 3,500 federal, state, and local law enforcement agencies that investigate internet child victimization and the sharing of child sexual abuse images, an online predator goes through six steps in the online grooming process of his victim. This process can take place quickly, or over an extended period of time.
Appears Familiar
Predators frequently access sites that kids visit to look for potential victims. They may conduct research on the child such as looking up their profile and finding information to start a conversation.
They then attempt to approach kids online, acting as if they know them. Predators often lie about their age and stay current on popular music, clothing and other trends in order to relate to their victims and develop a platform for discussion.
Develops Trust
The child predator will seek for ways to become a listener to their victim. He will appear sympathetic and understanding to their problems and act as if they are the only ones who can help and understand them. Predators also shower their victims with compliments and send them gifts, developing an emotional dependency while preying on the child or teens insecurities and emotions.
Establishes Secrecy
Predators will often ask the child to keep something a secret, or will have the child tell them a secret. This is done to gain the confidence of the child and to become a “best friend”. Victims often become dependent on their relationship with the predator, a relationship they often feel is romantic. This allows the predator to control behavior as the online grooming process progresses.
Erodes Barriers
The predator now becomes bolder, asking questions about things that are sexual in nature. As the conversation and relationship progresses, the predator will gain the confidence of the juvenile and test their boundaries by first exposing them to pornography, then asking for nude photographs and videos. Through continuous exposure, the predator hopes to lower the inhibitions of their victims and exert influence over them.
Direct Intimidation
Once a predator has incriminating information, pictures, or videos of their victims, he will often threaten to tell their parents or even hurt someone in the child’s family if they do not comply with their wishes. He will ask to meet with the juvenile face-to-face, and threaten to carry out his threats if the juvenile does not agree to cooperate. This form of blackmail is intended to keep the victim silenced.
Face-to-Face Meeting
Meeting the juvenile in person is the ultimate goal of the predator. The purpose of this meeting is to engage in sexual relations with the child or teen.
How Can You Protect Your Kids?
The good news is parents can take control of their kid’s safety. Open communication and frequent engagement with your kids, as well as responsible supervision and monitoring of phones and computers, is key to keeping your kids safe from online predators.
Know the Warning Signs
Be alert for possible indicators your child or teen may be engaged in communications with an online predator. Warning signs include:
• Withdraws from family or friends
• Downloads pornography
• Changes screens or turns off their computer when someone enters the room
• Becomes secretive or obsessive about online activity
• Receives phone calls or gifts from people you do not know
• Getting upset when not online
Supervise the Use of All Internet-enabled Devices
• Keep the computer in a high-traffic area of your home so the screen is not concealed from view
• Know your child’s passwords and ensure parental controls and privacy settings are enacted on all social media sites — almost half of all teens have profiles that are viewable by anyone!
• Regularly access your child’s social media sites to see what they are posting and who they are communicating with
• Monitor your child’s browser history and downloaded files for suspicious content
• Install filtering and monitoring software such as mSpy on digital devices to view how your child or teen is communicating and with who
• Encourage your kids to communicate only with people they know and trust
• Teach your child or teen never to share passwords or personal information about themselves or family members online
Important tips and settings for parents regarding Facebook:
* Do not post images of your children
* Do not post images of your vehicle
* Do not post images of your children’s school
* Do not post when you go on vacation
* Do not post when you are headed to school
* Do not post photos of your house
* Do not post locations where you are
Remember Cell Phones!
Cell phones have evolved into mini computers and have similar capabilities to desktop computers, capable of downloading content from the Internet, sharing photos and videos, and chatting online through various applications. Smartphones, however, can be more difficult to monitor and are often used without adult supervision. Predators know that parents often forget to monitor cell phones and take advantage of the fact that cell phones allow them to contact their victims and exchange messages and photos at any time.
Cell phones also come with GPS technology that allows a child or teen’s exact location to be pinpointed by apps or on websites. Websites such as Facebook encourage users to “check-in” to share their location online. Talk to your kids about the dangers of communicating their location to the public. Also ensure that you disable the location services on smartphones before allowing your kids to post pictures online.
Internet safety is every parent’s responsibility. It begins the moment you allow kids access or hand them a digital device, such as a cell phone or computer. Making smart decisions regarding privacy settings, monitoring communications and content, and talking regularly with your kids about the dangers of sharing personal information with people they don’t know can minimize risk and help keep predators away. You have the power to make a difference.
Valuable online resources for parents on how to keep your kids safe can be found at:
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
www.missingkids.com
Internet Crimes Against Children Taskforce
www.icactaskforce.org
Project Safe Childhood
http://www.justice.gov/psc
Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety
https://www.fbi.gov/stats-services/publications/parent-guide
This article was written by Maggie DeBoard for Inside Job and is not intended to represent the official position of anyone or anything other than the author.
Image Sources:
- Cover Image http://www.usafe.af.mil/shared/media/photodb/photos/2015/03/150311-F-NI989-002.jpg
- Child with Monitor https://i0.wp.com/www.minormonitor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Online-Predators1.jpg
- You Are 14? http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Vc81Ew5IEb8/TQZ-8MkpWFI/AAAAAAAAABY/RsGi_MDWyv8/s1600/internet_predator_080925_mn.jpg
- Alicia’s Story https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hR0bXZrIErE
We are part of the publication https://medium.com/homeland-security.
