Navigating Your Lifepath: Reclaiming Your Self, Recapturing Your Vision
Section VI: Engaging Your Allies
In Section VI, the material and assignments are focused on the areas below to support your process.
Tasks:
— Kenosis
— Attractions
Metaquestions:
— What are my gifts?
— How does this honor me?
Presuppositions:
— We exist in systems that affect each other.
— Behind every behavior is a positive intention.
—There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback.
It happens all the time in heaven,
And some day
It will begin to happen again on earth.
That men and women who are married,
And men and men who are lovers,
And women and women
Who give each other light,
Often will get down on their knees.
And while so tenderly
Holding their lover’s hand,
With tears in their eyes,
Will sincerely speak, saying
“My dear, how can I be more loving to you?
How can I be more kind?”
—Hafiz, Twelfth Century Persian Poet
Embracing All Parts
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish…
Floundering is part of the learning curve.
— As seen on the employee whiteboard at Biff’s Bagels in Prescott, AZ.
There’s an age-old argument regarding whether we are each born as a blank slate or the product of genetic imprinting. The truth may be somewhere in the middle. Whatever your state of being and tendencies when you were born, immediately you also start being shaped by those people with whom you had contact in whatever environments those were.
So, in a real way, you began to experience and know yourself in relation to others once you were old enough to realize you weren’t the entire universe. You took in what others told you about yourself, or what they considered ‘right.’ At that young age, you didn’t have the powers of discernment to decide if something was true or not. Your mind wasn’t yet developed enough from experience to press the blaster button and delete something that may have been out of line — a thought virus. Too late, the message implanted itself in your mind. You took it on as part of your beliefs and identity.
If a message supports your growth, that’s wonderful. But sometimes you may have been told something that, even though well meant, may have done the opposite. Or perhaps you were given mixed messages and you didn’t know what to believe. In that case, different parts of you took on each message. What then evolved was internal conflict and you may — to this day — have a continual war going on inside.
There’s something useful to note at this point. Even though a message may not be useful in a general sense, people are positively intended at a core level. Additionally, the intention of the message, or even the central element of a behavior, has added benefit in some context. The consideration now is to find that context where the message and subsequent action it supports is appropriate.
Based upon that discovery, the next task in the journey is to appreciate and integrate what may seem like polarities.
1. Mark which of these typical conflicts are familiar to your internal experience. Also write down any others that you may have that are not listed.
Being — Doing
Self — Other
Following rules — Breaking rules
Heart — Head
Wants — Shoulds
Controlling — Releasing
Security — Freedom
Trusting — Distrusting
Giving — Receiving
Listening to self — Listening to others
Instant gratification — Long-term consideration
Homeostasis — Risk-taking
Generosity — Withholding
Compassionate — Attacking
Perfection — Imperfection
Others:
2. If you have internal conflict, you can recognize it in some of these ways:
a. You may have voices inside that fight with each other. Usually each voice will come from a different location of your internal experience. For example, perhaps there’s a voice outside your right ear that urges, “Better get going! Get to it! It better be good!” This may be accompanied by a feeling of urgency, almost as though you’re being whipped from behind. At the same time, there’s a voice in the left ear saying, “Just relax! Don’t you ever have time for yourself? You deserve something, too!” Along with this message there could be another sensation such as a sinking feeling in the legs.
b. When you speak to others you may say something like, “There’s a part of me that wants to move on, but there’s another part of me that wants to stay right here.”
c. You may do something while having a nagging feeling to do the opposite, but suppress the feeling.
Any of these experiences can also be a strategy that you use for decision-making. The nature of the way that you make decisions may entail an internal experience such as any of those listed above, and you are then at peace with the decision you reach.
However, if there’s an on-going struggle that ensues, particularly if it has been familiar to you most of your life, then you have internal conflict. If this is part of your make-up, do know that you are not unusual.
The gift is the discovery of the jewel in each message and then integrating the two. While it is possible for both messages to be equally strong, one usually plays out more so than the other.
3. Of those conflicts you marked, which is the more dominant trait of the two? How does it play out in your life both positively and negatively?
4. What is the gift of the dominant trait?
5. Now consider the lesser dominant trait. How does it play out or not play out in your life, both positively and negatively?
6. What is the gift of the lesser dominant trait?
When there’s an internal conflict, there’s an imbalance. The dominant need is the one that wins out and the other one loses. It’s a black or white situation — win or lose. The loser carries no less a need or trait, but it is the part that is more frequently disowned and repressed.
When something is repressed, it doesn’t go away at all. It’s always clamoring beneath the surface. It just waits for what are actually the perfect opportunities to rear its head, usually at what you consider to be the most inconvenient times, in order to be heard.
The conditions of existence are often paradoxes. You may want to believe a superficial truth that says the opposite trait is wrong or non-existent because you can’t yet see the value of it. The deep truth is that the opposite is also true and is equally valuable. For instance, there can be strength in vulnerability, healing in illness, perfection in imperfection, etc. Because “the brighter the light, the darker the shadow,” when we deny any parts of ourselves we end up in conflict and deny the gifts or positive intentions that are present. When you embrace all parts of yourself and understand the responsibility each part of you has taken, you can truly appreciate the whole person you really are.
Relating to Relationship
Relationship is the highest spiritual path you can travel — and one with much growth opportunity. Whether you have a tendency to spend more time by yourself or with others, this is true in a distinct way. If you are alone much of the time, you don’t have the opportunity to experience yourself through someone else’s eyes. This includes experiencing your own foibles as well as attributes. Even if you get most of your motivation and strength from within, it’s useful to receive feedback from others. If you neglect relationships in your life, it’s much easier to be in denial concerning who you are, in all ways. You are also less likely to grow into your full potential as a human being. By bumping up against others, sometimes even rubbing each other raw, you can begin to smooth the rough edges of those underdeveloped sides of yourself.
It’s still possible to be with others much of the time and disbelieve feedback you are hearing and remain static. Being astute, you can look to see if there are certain types of people who appear over and over in your life giving you similar messages. You will be presented with this kind of gift continually until you receive the crux of the tiding. You empower yourself by fully stepping into those resourceful qualities that others mention to you. You also grow by listening for the truth in the messages you are given about yourself again and again, but prefer not to hear.
Feedback Loop
Acknowledgement to NLP developer Robert Dilts for this process.
1. For this self-exploration, choose someone who knows you well in a particular context or environment. Perhaps you want to choose your partner, friend, co-worker or family member.
2. Next, write down how you see yourself in that particular context related to your behaviors, and capabilities; what you believe about yourself; who you are, and your greater connections. Don’t censor anything.
3. Then become that other person. Write down how that person sees you as far as what you do; how you do it; what that person believes about you; who that person knows you to be, and your spiritual aspects. In your mind, go back in time with your significant other and record what he or she has told you about yourself. Write this down even if you don’t acknowledge it. Allow your list to include both “positive” and “negative” qualities.
Feel free to use additional paper. To enhance your learning, do this exercise with a couple of different people in varying contexts. You may exhibit some of your traits more visibly in some places and not so much so in others depending on the role you are playing at the time.
4. Now do the same thing for the other person. What do you experience in that person and what would they say about themselves?
Take a look at each list. How are they similar? How are they different? We are mirrors for each other. It is not true that opposites attract in relationship. Like attracts like. We are drawn to each other because of the traits we each have that are similar. This is true whether we tend to enhance each other or draw out what needs to be acknowledged and healed.
When you accept all parts of yourself, you can accept others as well. When you are expressing yourself creatively and nurture that aspect of yourself, you no longer have conditions on another person in relationship. If you hear someone say to you, “What do you want from me?” then pay attention. It is likely that you are expecting that person to fill some void that you need to fill yourself. Expectations of this sort are where relationships go wrong. In the highest form of relationship, you each support the other to be all of who you are, not do for each other what you need to be doing for yourselves.
5. What do you see in the other that you are denying in yourself? When in your life have you exhibited those attributes?
6. What is resident from family of origin patterns?
7. How does this pertain to internal conflicts you have?
8. How can you now begin to own all parts of you? What form does that take?
Section VI Assignments
1. Continue to:
a) take steps toward your outcome(s);
b) perform your chosen practice;
c) journal your dreams, experiences, resistances, learnings, etc. Continue to note any common themes.
d) take steps to transform a limiting belief.
2. Begin to take steps to own those parts of yourself that you previously disowned. Journal about the resulting effects of the steps you are taking.
3. Read:
a. Calling Our Spirits Home: Chapter 9 “The Un-Namable Sacred” and Chapter 10 “The Pilgrimage Home.”
b. Standing Stark: Chapter 10 “Asking the Answer” and Chapter 12 “Thresholds.”
4. Listen to the audio teaching of Engaging Your Allies and bonus audio:
- Lifepath Session 6 (MP3 file, 41.4 MB)
- Bonus Audio: NLP & the Spirit Path (MP3 file, 84.7 MB
Note: Access Calling Our Spirits Home and Standing Stark in serial chapter format in the publication Illumination on Medium for free. Chapters in assignments are linked above.
- Engaging Your Allies (PDF file, 212 KB)
If you need assistance with the material or outcome you seek, please refer to consultations.
Bio
Carla Woody is a spiritual mentor, writer, and visual artist. She is the founder of Kenosis, an organization based in Prescott, Arizona, supporting human potential since 1999 through life enhancement coaching, retreats and spiritual travel programs working with Indigenous leaders and healers in the US, Mexico, Central, and South America. In 2007 she founded Kenosis Spirit Keepers, a volunteer-run 501(c)3 nonprofit organization to help preserve Indigenous traditions threatened with decimation.
Sections will be uploaded every few days until complete.
Table of Contents
Section I: Preparing for the Journey
Jack London Quote
Questions We Live By
The Re-Membering Process Model
Presuppositions to Support Your Journey
Our Work
Tenets of Intent
Setting Intent
Readiness
The Cycle of Fulfillment
The Threshold
Understanding Your Values
Commitment
Journaling as an Ally
Section I Assignments
Section II: Setting the Direction
Life Energy
Whole Life Balance
The Bright Hope
Setting The Direction
Setting Outcomes Worksheet
Systems
Voice and Expression
The Juxtaposition
Building a Foundation
Section II Assignments
Section III: Entering the Forest
Success
Mining Resources
Panning for Gold
Learning Discernment
Section III Assignments
Section IV: Transforming the Dragon
How You Fulfill Your Destiny
Emotional Freedom Technique
Uncovering Limiting Beliefs
Clearing Limiting Beliefs
Understanding Homeostasis
Elements of Reformation
Evolutionary Dimensions of Archetypes
Section IV Assignments
Section V: Uncovering the Jewels
Doing and Being
Striving to Surrender
Activating the Witness
Telltale Signs
Creating Space
Starting Within
Paving the Pathway of Your Future
Spiritual Travel: Destination or Process?
Section V Assignments
Section VI: Engaging Your Allies
Hafiz Poem
Embracing All Parts
Relating to Relationship
Section VI Assignments
Section VII: Negotiating the Landscape
The Art of Reciprocity
The Principle of Seed Money
Giving and Receiving in Relationship
The Energy of Money
Section VII Assignments
Section VIII: Bringing It All Home
The Outcome of Intent
The Point of Re-Entry
The Disney Creativity Strategy
Sorting and Behavioral Styles
The Importance of Acknowledgement
The Nature of True Community
The Stages of Learning
An Autobiography in Five Chapters
Walking the Edge
Your Legacy
The Despacho Ceremony
Excerpt: Portals to the Vision Serpent
Section VIII Assignments
Copyright 1999–2021 by Carla Woody. All rights reserved. No portion of this manual, except for brief review, may be reproduced in any form without written permission of the publisher. Inquiries may be directed to: Kenosis Press, P.O. Box 10441, Prescott, AZ 86304, info@kenosis.net.
Also by Carla Woody:
Standing Stark: The Willingness to Engage. Read in Illumination Book Chapters.
Calling Our Spirits Home: Gateways to Full Consciousness. Read in Illumination Book Chapters.
Portals to the Vision Serpent. Coming soon to Illumination Book Chapters.
