Using my example, it’s time to face your vices. We come to the most important of them all
Expectations: A Harbinger of Hatred. Chapter 4
How to lower your expectations in order to start enjoying life and living again
Previously: Chapter3, Chapter 2, Chapter 1
Part 8. Another Country
The penultimate test for the dam of expectations was moving to another country — Armenia.
A forced move. To a poorer country than before.
Having lived all my life in Russia, listening to tales about life “abroad,” I had built a firm belief that where I had spent my whole life was far from the best place on earth.
Just before this move, we visited Turkey, Istanbul.
The influx of financial investment into this economy was evident there.
If in Russia there were about a dozen skyscrapers in the whole country, almost all concentrated in Moscow’s Moscow-City complex, then in Istanbul, there were about 50 scattered just in one city, many of them simply residential complexes of incredible beauty Modern architecture intertwined with care for nature and the cleanliness of the city — an incredible combination.
Yes, there are particularly poor areas there, but it’s easy to avoid them and not spoil your impression.
I also recognize the problems of this state hidden behind the curtain of these beautiful facades, but for now, it’s important to focus on the first impression.
My journey through life looked like this:
Norilsk ➡ Saint Petersburg ➡ Moscow ➡ Istanbul
And now it was Yerevan’s turn.
To say I was shocked upon arrival is an understatement.
I can’t even bring myself to write that my expectations were not met.
They didn’t just fail…
They crashed spectacularly, drilling a hole to the core of this planet.
Yes, the local people are friendly and hospitable. Again, most, but not all. Now is not the right time to talk about cultural peculiarities, but we’ll briefly touch on some.
No matter the people around, we’re an introverted family, not very sociable with strangers, valuing our personal comfort over how many neighbors we can list as pseudo-friends.
Our quality of life drastically deteriorated:
- Poor air quality in the capital
- Dirtiness
- Subpar service in all areas
- “Gloomy” shopping centers
- Limited selection of the latest goods: electronics, cosmetics, furniture
- Lots of local cuisine, which we’re not fans of
- Little healthy food
- More expensive housing, due to the influx of migrants, renting a mediocre apartment for even more money than before
- Many familiar food products, imported from Russia, are foreign here, with corresponding markups
- Constant power, heat, and water outages…
Somewhere here began the theme for the next article — anger, pain, and hatred for everything happening.
We tried our best to change this situation, to move.
We certainly didn’t expect HOW many things are out of our control.
How insignificant and helpless you feel in this vast world, especially in a foreign country.
Even in this friendly and loyal place, you occasionally get sideways glances and displeasure at your presence.
As it is everywhere, really, even in Russia, but at moments of maximum stress, especially far from home, it all feels particularly acute.
The difficulties of immigration and adaptation are almost the same everywhere, regardless of the country and people.
Everyone who moves will face this. But that’s not the point now.
Cubital canal
Six months after moving, you feel like a walking, inflamed nerve cell, exploding at the slightest external influence.
And even we, by that time a fairly strong and toughened couple, couldn’t avoid this.
Think things settled down after six months?
Of course not.
After six months, we just had our new health problems.
Inflammation of the nerve in the cubital canal in both hands came into my life like thunder out of a clear sky.
To understand what it’s like, try keeping your arms straight without bending them. And every attempt to bend them, even by a few degrees, results in pain as if your elbows are about to explode.
Oh yes, you also can’t lift weights now. Even a standard spoon becomes that triggering “weight.” Every meal is a struggle through pain and tears.
And the icing on the cake: amidst all this, you still need to sleep somehow without bending your arms.
The first three months were hell on earth, almost full recovery took an entire year, and there are still some types of loads I can’t handle…
We still haven’t been able to move but haven’t abandoned the idea.
We’re not accustomed to relying on blind luck. We developed a new plan.
Certainly, not everything is so bad. There are significant positives, but this article is not about that. We’re slowly adapting.
Before concluding this part, I would like to look at another event.
An event that occurred in the middle of the year and put an end to my investigation into anger, expectations, and their interconnection.
Nonetheless, I’m sure that just the difficulties of moving wouldn’t have been enough to fully comprehend the picture, as all these factors are associated with external influences.
What’s missing is the last link in this chain — the internal link.
The realization of the problem not just in the external environment, but also within oneself.
To be continued…
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