First Aid for Dealing With Stress, Panic, Fear, and Anxiety
Immediate stress relief — Learn to calm down when under intense stress. Breathing exercises and general guidelines.
Fear has plagued me all my life.
Fear of bullying when I was a kid. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of rejection in matters of love and work. Fear of social interactions, being an introvert with a hint of social anxiety. Fear of pain and the sickness that has followed my disease for most of my life. But the most dominant fear has been the fear of poverty, of getting dragged down into the abyss of negative cash flows, from which I will never be able to swim back out again.
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So I know fear, and I know anxiety — intimately.
They’ve been my companions for most of my life. I’ve had to claw my way out of the darkest corners of my mind and battle my inner demons for as long as I can remember. I’ve had to face my fears, work through my anxiety and retrain my mind repeatedly on countless issues.
In this article, I want to share some techniques that have helped me the most in times of intense stress.
“First aid” for dealing with stress when you find yourself in the gutter and bullets are flying over your head (fictitious or literal).
I am assuming that you are right now in the middle of a stressful situation. Perhaps a panic attack, a roaring anxiety, or maybe you’re being consumed with fear. Whatever you are dealing with, you’re in the gutter and crave at least a moment of relief.
What can you do right now to feel some relief?
Our minds and bodies are reciprocally connected.
Your mind always influences your body, and your body can influence the state of your mind.
Panic, fear, and anxiety are manifested in the body, among other symptoms, as:
- Short, shallow breaths, sometimes even difficulty in breathing.
- Breathing in the upper part of your lungs.
- Hunched upper body.
- Clenched muscles, tightness in your body.
- Heavy pressure in your chest.
The easiest way to release some of that stress in the heat of the moment is to start with the body side of the equation.
It also works the fastest and is easiest to learn and practice. It is always achievable and at your disposal, no matter the situation you find yourself in. Everyone can do it right now!
Your breathing influences how you feel more than anything else outside your mind.
Ask yourself, how am I breathing at this moment? And then take control of your breathing.
If you’re in a stressful situation, you will find that you are breathing short, fast, shallow breaths. Some may even hold their breath for no reason (as I often do). So the first thing you should always do is:
- Straighten up, stand up, and open up your chest.
- Take a few slow, deep breaths. If it helps, count as you do.
- Shake your hands and feet to release the built-up energy.
- Lift your hands above your head as you inhale, fully expand your lounges, and drop them down as you exhale, actively involving your body in breathing.
- Breathe mindfully. Focus on breathing and forget everything else when you do this.
You’re guaranteed a sense of relief in a few short minutes. It’s just chemistry influencing your mood.
Here are some essential breathing techniques you must learn and practice as often as possible to improve your feelings and alleviate your fear or anxiety during intense stress.
4444 breathing technique
- Breathe in slowly for 4 seconds (or counts).
- Hold for 4 seconds.
- Exhale for 4 seconds.
- Hold the empty lungs for 4 seconds.
Repeat the four steps over and over again until you calm down. Yes, it’s that simple. Don’t overthink it. If this “square breathing” is good enough for the Marines, it’s good enough for you and me.
When you practice these breathing techniques, make sure to breathe into your belly with the help of your diaphragm. If you are practicing breathing, you should do it right.
478 breathing technique
This is my favorite breathing technique for calming anxiety and releasing stress.
- Breathe in slowly for 4 seconds (or counts).
- Hold full lungs for 7 seconds.
- Exhale completely for 8 seconds.
Repeat for as long as you like. It will take more than one round, so keep going.
Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth and purse your lips to limit air outflow. If you can muster a “sound” as you exhale, it might help even further.
I sometimes do this exercise for an extended period of time and prolong the holding and exhaling parts for maximum effect. By the time I’m done, I feel like a new person!
You might feel lightheaded after a while, but that is good for releasing stress.
Just don’t do it while driving, or at least limit the holds of each step to prevent getting lightheaded. This exercise is perfect as a daily ritual in the morning, evening, or just when you need a little break. I know it sounds too simple, but it works wonders!
Acceptance — you must accept reality.
Completely accept and stop resisting:
- What you are feeling at this very moment.
- The situation you have found yourself in.
Accept that you are feeling the way you are feeling. Don’t be afraid of letting those “bad” feelings come and take over you. Allow the fear, stress, anxiety, sadness, and anger to play out fully.
Don’t try to suppress your feelings; you’ll only prolong the suffering.
You have to allow your feelings to express themselves and process them. If you run away, they’ll keep chasing you until you can’t run anymore. The sooner you let these feelings play out, the sooner you’ll be free of them.
You don’t have to like how you feel at this moment, but there is no sense in pretending it isn’t happening. That only leads you down a dark path of denial and escapism.
You’re fighting a losing battle if you try to replace these painful feelings with “feel good” positive thinking techniques.
There is a time and a place for that, but it’s not in the middle of a stressful situation when you are struggling to breathe.
You are too deep down in a dark hole to be able to reach for the sky. First, calm yourself down and reach emotional neutrality by accepting your current situation, and only then attempt any positive thinking exercises and mental re-frames.
The only way out is through!
Allow those emotions, whatever they are, to manifest themselves fully and just stay with them.
Don’t try to suppress them, don’t try to override them, don’t pretend they’re not present. Be fully aware that you are experiencing those feelings, and they feel awful. Just observe them without judgment.
Allow yourself to feel them. Allow them to play out fully. It’s OK to feel bad for a day or two. It’s not the end of the world.
No storm lasts forever, and neither does any feeling, no matter how painful it feels at this moment. This too shall pass!
Accept that what is done is done. You can’t change the past. You can only accept it and learn from it.
Yes, it sucks. It’s a dark place you’ve found yourself in. You don’t want to be here. I get it. You feel bad, and you want it to stop. You’re losing your money, your job, your relationship, your health, whatever it is causing you this immense stress — it’s happening whether you like it or not.
Acknowledge fully what is happening. Don’t you dare pretend it’s not!
Own any mistake that you’ve made, and forgive yourself!
Even if something is not your fault, it happened. Shit happens sometimes. Bad things happen to good people. It’s just the way of the world. Do not take things personally. They probably aren’t.
After you have found a way to make peace with the situation and yourself, you can now attempt to salvage what is possible.
You will now be able to think clearly and find the best solutions available to you. No one has ever solved any problem while panicking or under extreme duress. It only makes things worse. First, calm yourself down and regain composure. Only then look toward finding solutions.
Be well, friends.
Interesting in reading more about overcoming fear and anxiety? Here’s a list of my articles that will hopefully help you.
