How Your “Definitions” Define You
Changing the root cause of your limiting beliefs
In a webinar of 500 people, everyone is given the same lecture, strategies, and cheat sheets on how to start and grow a profitable online business. In a year, only about 20–50 people would have started their business while the others are looking for the next “hot” tip to follow.
It happens all the time, if it has not happened with you, you know someone who has suffered shiny object syndrome to the point of frustration. Every new course you take or business model you try out, you see people who are successful but it just does not happen for you.
You do this so much, you begin to feel like a failure (even though there is no such thing as a failure — have you ever seen failure?… Neither have I).
You can do the work, learn the same strategies others have used to make huge sums of money, and still… you do not see any tangible results for your efforts.
What is the difference between those who make it and those who don’t? remember.. it is the same strategy(most especially in building a profitable online business). Many factors have been written about, as everyone has their say on what success looks like but in reality, the strategy is only a piece of the puzzle.
There are far more important things you should look to address before you get lost jumping from one good opportunity to the others without seeing results. This is something you need to address yourself and a simple trick you can do by yourself.
Remember, your “Why” for starting an online business? you want to change your life, you want to exceed limits.. so the very first thing you need to fix before you read another blog post, book, or youtube videos on “how to build a successful (Insert your dream business) online is….
Every one of your Limitations is first Mental…
The first limitation we fail to address when it comes to improving our life either by making more money, finding true and sustainable love, or being happy is Mental.
I used to have so many limiting beliefs before I started online 2 years ago, I thought people who made money online were truly “gifted” and I was not.
- I would never be a good enough writer,
- I could not learn all the technical stuff, I was lost in the world and nothing I did could change it.
- My intelligence is “fixed”
- I can not shoot a youtube video
- I most definitely would not make money blogging.
- There was someone who had it all figured out and I am not that person
- I would get laughed at if I make mistakes…
and every other limiting belief you could think of — I lived it.
To protect these beliefs, I did everything I could even at my own detriment. I scoffed and laughed at people who wrote and talked about things like Meditations, Failing forward(or just learning through practice), growth mindset, mentorship — I laughed at everything I am currently doing now.
The only things I felt could work were
- Going to school,
- Getting my MSc
- A good job, and I was set for life.
I achieved all that and after a year and a half of feeling lost, I started asking questions and questioning my belief about everything I know. it turns out I didn't have any beliefs of my own. Everything I had been doing to that point had been an idea someone else planted in my head and I ran with it.
It was conditioning from parents, friends, my immediate society, and what I learned from school.
Realizing how wrong my previous beliefs were, led me to finally start asking questions and questioning all my previous beliefs and why I believed them in the first place.
What about you? What beliefs do you hold dear? Are they yours? are they serving you and helping you grow because most times they do not.
It is shocking to realize that all your beliefs are not yours… Your limitations are not yours... if we scrubbed your memory as a child and let you grow in a totally new environment, chances are you would turn out much differently than you are right now.
But how would I go about changing these beliefs, it gets hard at times as you struggle with past versions of yourself and your identity. You would have to start killing versions of yourself and this is where most people give up. We are so used to being who we are, any change to the contrary is very painful.
Imagine having an argument with someone else where you both argue to the point you are screaming and pissed and for peace, to reign, you both “agree to disagree” — you cannot do this with yourself. it is either one or the other.
Once you are awake, it is usually worse.. you’d someday prefer you were still ignorant as now the pain hurts more.. you realize that
- You are the only one in charge of your life and what you believe
- You are the only one who can change the trajectory of your life
- There is no one coming to save you but yourself
One way to change your beliefs is to change your definitions of the things you believe.
It would surprise you to know that most of the definitions you hold true are the root cause of your limiting beliefs
Here’s why…
Anybody who controls your “definitions” controls your life
In school, when we were being taught, the teacher told us a “particular” definition she holds, or that is recommended by the textbook and we are told that that is the only acceptable definition. So we memorize it and see that as the only way things should work.
if we said an opinion contrary to that, you failed. In this context, any definition not approved by the school is wrong.
Since our teachers are authority figures and we know nothing we just go along with what we are told and if you want to pass — you’d better repeat the definition you were taught — even when it is wrong.
But here’s the ugly truth… Anyone who controls your definitions controls your life.
Why? How?
Because definitions give meaning to things
A rectangular piece of paper, with ink on it, can mean two different things to two different people. To an American, it can be a $100 dollar bill.. to someone else who has never seen a $100 bill and does not know what “paper money” looks like it is worthless.
Just how the school system gives you definitions that are a “boundary”, so does every other definition you believe.
You can rightly say that your definitions are your boundaries of beliefs.
Every day, consciously or unconsciously, you are accepting definitions of things you want.
What is your definition of money?
If your definition is that money is hard to make, you have boxed yourself with that limiting belief that money is hard to make. You’d have to work harder till you see a penny.
What is your definition of rich and successful people?
Do you see them as selfish, greedy, and cold-hearted psychopaths? — if you do, that is a belief and you would not become rich since you do not want to be selfish, greedy, and cold-hearted. your actions would stop you from getting there
What is your definition of Love?
What is your definition of happiness?
You should take the time to do these two things today. Find out
- What is the mental limitation holding you back?
- What definitions no longer serve you and how do you redefine them.
I write about personal development and how to build your online business, if you need a place to start that in risk-free — try this to get started. You can also find me on Twitter spilling all I know about writing and building your online business.
