The Proust Questionnaire Answered by Maria Valevsky
Let’s do some self-analysis together
‘The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature,’ — Vanity Fair
To be honest, these questions won’t reveal who I am as a person to you.
However, they will make you think about your own answers.
That could be fun. Let’s try it.
1) What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Let’s imagine for a second you have everything your heart desires. Will you be completely happy? No, you won’t. You will be too afraid to lose it. You won’t believe it. You won’t appreciate it. Something’s going to be wrong.
However, there are many things in life that make me happier:
- My spouse is one of the main reasons I smile every day. With him, I can be 100% myself and that’s something I never thought was possible.
- Certain members of my family make my days brighter and more joyous. I’m mostly talking about the youngest family members, but there are exceptions sometimes.
- Writing is the obvious one, but it does bring me a lot of happiness. I had to mention it here.
There are also a lot of random things such as hotels, swimming pools, lemon water, TV shows, books, rain and snow.
2) What is your greatest fear?
I will never understand how people answer this question. Everyone has their biggest fear. I’m scared of mine so much I will not put it down on paper. I don’t have the emotional stability to see it written right in front of me.
I choose to plead the fifth. Even though I’ve never set foot in the USA.
3) What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
As for my personality — nothing. Of course, there are many traits that interfere with my daily life, but I’ve grown to love myself and it wasn’t easy.
If we’re talking about my physical appearance or the state of my health, that is a whole other story. Most things I don’t like about myself are related to either mental or physical health. But these aren’t exactly traits…
So, it looks like my most deplored trait is being prone to physical and mental illnesses.
4) Which living person do you most admire?
It goes without saying that I admire people I love. They make my life better. I learn a lot about myself and the world from them. But this is not the whole answer.
Most of the time, my admiration shifts from one person to another depending on what I’m going through and who I need to look up to in a particular moment of my life.
For example, while I am writing this article, I’m thinking about inner demons and what to do with them. I’m a strong believer there is light and darkness in all of us. No person is without a flaw. Now I focus my admiration on those people who are able to embrace their dark side and make something good out of it.
5) What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Honesty.
Don’t get me wrong, I value honesty. It’s one of the basics of strong and sincere relationships. But what about situations when another person doesn’t care about the truth?
For example, if somebody would talk about movies and say something like “We’ve all seen the Matrix, right?” — I would keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't want to hear for the thousandth time how great this movie was, and that I had to watch it.
You can see I’m not honest 100% of the time. However, I always make sure I’m genuine in my actions, words, and intentions.
And as honesty isn’t the ultimate virtue for me, I’m not afraid to tell a person if I lied before, which sometimes makes them trust me even more.
6) On what occasions do you lie?
Oops. I’ve just answered it in my previous question.
To sum up, I lie when I know the truth doesn’t matter. When I know that the other person doesn’t care about what my answer is. I lie if neither truth nor lie would hurt anybody. When the issue is too small to care about the truth.
7) Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
This question is dangerous because after reading the answer, you’ll notice it everywhere.
Unfortunately, I’m not a confident person. There are many reasons for that, but we’re not going to talk about it now. Then why am I bringing this up?
I overuse words “quite”, “I think”, “might”, “could” and other words that weaken my sentences. It’s rooted in the fact that I’m afraid of being too direct in expressing my opinion.
I’m working on it.
8) What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Certain family members.
My husband and my writing.
9) When and where were you happiest?
In my childhood. Even when something was wrong, I didn’t know or didn’t understand it. I was obliviously happy most of the time.
Lately, I’ve been feeling I’m on the right track. But I don’t want to jinx it. So, is it time to answer question number 10?
10) Which talent would you most like to have?
I don’t think I want one. I’m grateful for the hints of talent I have now.
That’s enough for me.
11) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My health problems.
12) What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I don’t have any grand achievements yet. But I have a lot of small ones and I am proud of each of them:
- participating in swimming competitions
- finishing both my Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees with commendation
- coming back to writing
- making and editing a couple of cool tribute videos
- working on my relationships with people I care about
13) Where would you most like to live?
The UK, no hesitation. I’ve lived there for a year. That was the best place I can imagine for me. It would probably be Bristol, Brighton, or Birmingham. That’s if we’re talking about geographical location.
For me, the most important thing is to be able to spend time with the people I love. So, the perfect place for me is where they are.
14) What do you most value in your friends?
How they treat people. If they respect others — we’re good.
Unfortunately, we all have some internal biases, but when a person does nothing to work on it, disrespects others and says there is nothing wrong with it — we’re not going to be friends.
15) Which historical figure do you most identify with?
This is another question that confuses me. How can you identify with someone you don’t know? Historical figures are someone to be inspired by. They are more like icons than somebody I could see myself in.
I have fictional characters for that. We spend time with them and have a chance to explore their inner motives and desires. There are three characters I associate myself with:
- David Rose from “Schitt’s Creek”
- Eliot Waugh from “The Magicians”
- Capitan Amelia from “Treasure Island”
16) Who are your heroes in real life?
Teachers. They play a huge role in who we become.
Doctors. They save our lives without really getting something in return.
All the people who try to help others and bring something good to this world.
17) What is your greatest regret?
Being too scared to be my true self. I regret it. I live it.
18) What is your motto?
Genius lies in simplicity.
I hope you found some interesting thoughts in this piece. I highly encourage you to fill in this questionnaire yourself. The answers might surprise you.
If you want to discuss something or see what I’m up to, please feel free to connect with me on Twitter.
