TODAY MY LIFE CHANGED…

…because I learned why I kept “failing” in the past.

I just had this revelation drawn out of me courtesy of my coach… My life coach and I really wanna articulate this post well because I feel it may reach a few of you and flick a switch as it did to me…

I think a few would agree that it’s motivation and goals that drive us. Now lets ignore how you motive yourself for a moment and just understand that for us to do what we do, we need some level of motivation. For sure it’s been whats kept me (more often than not, reluctantly) going on my search for happiness, and like in my previous posts ‘Inside job’ and ‘No-one knows me’, I talk a bit about ‘happiness’. However my view has slightly changed as ‘Happiness’ is such an ambiguous word as there are so many degrees of it, and yet it’s something we all seem to strive for like it’s everything. All we hear is, ‘Oooh, I just want to be “happy” or ‘As long as he’s/she’s “happy”...etc. That’s shit (well maybe not shit, because being happy is amazing, but it’s definitely not what the life goal should be).

Let me explain. I’ve been a motivated dude for sometime now… I think I have always have been, well, in my conscious mind anyway. However, after looking back at my life, I realise I have never given it 100%… Even when I was competing in MMA, it was half hearted, the businesses I’ve started, half hearted. Most things I’ve done, half-fucking-hearted. It really does sadden me to know this, to know that I’ve not been fully committed. EVER. Feeling like I’m just a quitter. Wondering why I wasn’t/couldn’t give it my all. Seeing others so f’in passionate about what they were doing and me just pretending that I shared the same love for it.

Even without my 100%, I managed to realise most of the goals I set…ish. I’ve always done what I said I wanted to. Like I said, I am a motivated guy, but I now know what the big problem was, it was the motivation behind the goals. My conscious and subconscious minds have never been aligned. My conscious mind is so positive it can make Tony Robbins seem like a negative kill joy, but the subconscious mind was just laying back, twiddling its thumbs waiting for me to find something that would motivate me till the end before it perked up and started working with me… waiting for me to realise my PURPOSE.

How do I know that I never gave it my all? Because I don’t think you can give up on your purpose, and I’ve given up on too many things. Simple. Although I feel a bit shitty and embarrassed about all of this, it also excites me in equal measure because ‘better late than never’ serves this situation well. I definitely took the scenic route, but I know these battle scares were meant to be collected in order for me to be better positioned to fulfil my whole reason for being here.

My early goals were driven by shallow, egocentric, external factors, and I was kinda ok with that. But even when I became a bit more of a conscious human and tried to trick myself by neatly packaging my goals and motivations in “righteous" wrapping paper, I still found myself stopping short of the finish line.

All the oldskool me’s i.e. Dizzy, Dyson and even a bit of Mase (if you’ve read previous posts you’ll get the references) were always chasing things… but they were exactly that, just THINGS! So it’s of no surprise that when I got those things, I was searching for some more things to fill the hole that the acquirement of my other things made way for… And if I didn’t get the ‘thing/goal’ I’d move on to something else willy-nilly without giving a single fuck.

Now I know this isn’t a new concept i.e. things don’t make you happy. But, when you finally have that ‘Ah-ha' light bulb moment, it puts a whole different spin on shit.

What motivates you? More importantly, what is it that would ALWAYS motivate you? If you find that hard to answer, ask yourself what you would do for you, if money was not an issue. I think the answer to that is… YOUR PURPOSE!

Ok so, over the last couple of years I’ve been heading in the right direction with Mind Work and more recently with the coaching, but if I’m truly honest with myself, I didn’t know why I started down the wellbeing avenue. I think I’ve just been allowing my intuition to lead as I have total faith that I’m being guided by my higher self. Plus it felt right I guess… helping others.

So I’ll go back to the the part when I said it’s not all about being happy. I stand by this 100% because happiness is everywhere, as lovely as ‘happy’ is it can’t be trusted and for sure isn’t my life’s destination/goal. It cant be it forever (who wants to always be happy anyway?) and if Happy was a person, I think it would be like your flakey mate. The illusive fun one that pops in and out of your life, and lets you down quite a bit. You can find moments of ‘Happy’ anywhere, in an item of clothing, in possessions, mate, I can even find it in a sandwich, so what kinda life desire is that?… FULFILMENT, now thats the shit!!!

Being motivated by your purpose for something that will fulfil you for a lifetime is what I want. To me, that sounds wicked…. yeah yeah, I know I’ve said before it’s all about being “happy” with where you are in life etc but it does not mean for a single second that you should settle and accept it. Plus, I don’t think your purpose would allow it i.e. settling. I think it’s the not-realising of our life’s purposes that keeps so so many of us feeling lost and unhappy/unfulfilled.

If you’d asked me what I wanted out of life before, I’d have said ‘To be a successful man’ then if you’d asked me to describe a successful man, I’d of said something like.. ‘Healthy, wealthy, happy, good job, friends, family blah blah blah…’

That sounds good for sure, but where is the ‘Purpose’ in that statement? Where is the emotion? The humanity? The love for life? The legacy? Leaving this place a little better than you found it?

So if someone were to ask me today, what does success look like to me. I’d say it’s someone who is ‘Loving and loved, fulfilled, making a difference, and living out their life’s purpose…’ Yeah, all the above would be nice too but we all know that there are healthy and wealthy people with good jobs, friends and family that have a void that they’re struggling to fill.

So what I’m getting at is this. When you have the right thing motivating you, there’s no stopping you. Even writing these blog posts make more sense now. My/our “failures” are our signs to change lanes, to look a little deeper within, what is it inside that needs to come out? Be expressed and born into your reality? That thing that will truly fulfil you? Your purpose… and don’t worry if you feel it’s there but can’t find it right now, because it will find you.

#DontDrinkTheTapWater