Love@Work
Years ago, I heard an amazing story from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin. A chiropractor decided that in addition to giving his clients physical comfort, he also wanted to give them a boost of joy during their visit. For every client that entered his office, he started the appointment by finding one strongly positive attribute to complement. One day, the chiropractor had a new client that looked like a complete wreck. He was overweight, his hair was disheveled, and he smelled as if he hadn’t showered in days. The chiropractor stared up and down at the man desperately looking for something to complement. Finally, he noticed that the man had new shoe laces.
“Those are amazing shoe laces! I never saw shoe laces that matched so well to the shoes. You have an incredible gift for choosing shoe laces,” he told the man. Then the chiropractor did a few adjustments and the man left.
A few days later, the man returned. “You saved my life doctor,” the man said. The chiropractor gave a confused look. “You don’t understand. A few days ago, I was in incredible physical pain. I strained my neck because I had been sleeping on my friend’s old couch. I lost my job recently and my wife kicked me out of the house. I’ve been extremely depressed for weeks. I was really contemplating taking my own life, but I decided to see if alleviating some of this physical pain could help change my attitude. I came to you for an adjustment, but you did much more than fix my neck. You spoke to me in a way that made me feel good. I left your office with a feeling that I’m not a pile of garbage. You made me feel like I matter. I owe you a lot doctor. You saved my life.”
The Power of Our Words
We all get the opportunity to be “chiropractors” every day for our coworkers. The stresses of the modern workplace can create pain for our coworkers, and we have the power to alleviate that pain. We all can relate to the pain of hearing negative messages.
“You messed up that report…again!”
“You interrupt me in every meeting. You are trying to undermine my authority.”
“It took you 5 days to respond to my email. What’s wrong with you? I expect better performance. This is unacceptable.”
“That was the stupidest question I have ever heard. You’re an idiot.”
Sound familiar? It doesn’t take a lot of talent to attack other people. Negative comments are often the first thing that comes to mind as we manage the stresses of work, and in many workplaces, employees suffer the whole day with these messages. It’s no wonder that employee retention is at all-time low and we’ve seen an explosion in the gig economy where people can work as independents.
What if we tried something different? What if we all started using our power of speech to complement our coworkers?
“I see you tried something new on that report. Awesome.”
“I’m really impressed how confidently you speak in meetings.”
“I’m always impressed how you manage so many tasks along with your complicated family life.”
“Thanks for being brave enough to speak up and ask that question.”
Introducing LOVE@WORK
I have a term to describe this radical new method for workplace communication. It’s called, “LOVE@WORK.” Love has many forms. Love between a husband and wife, love between a parent and child, love between friends, etc. One thing that combines all forms of love is a focus on the other person’s positive attributes. This approach is most strongly exhibited in the love between a mother and her child. Even if a boy grows up to be a homicidal maniac, there is still some mother out there that loves him. “Jonnie is such a good boy. Look at that smile. He is just misunderstood.”
What if we all started loving our co-workers. Don’t worry HR, I’m not suggesting romantic love. There is a way of loving that produces smiles, not lawsuits. I’m imagining a workplace where in spite of the natural conflicts and stresses that arise in the workday, employees really make a concerted effort to love each other and looking at each other in a positive way. I believe companies that implement policies to encourage LOVE@WORK will see improvements in employee retention, productivity, and general employee satisfaction.
At our company, WEEL, we implemented a mandatory employee hug policy over a year ago, and the positive vibes from this initiative are still being felt. But daily hugs were just a first step. Our new focus on LOVE@WORK has helped us build a more unified workforce. It’s a wonderful feeling to come to a place where you can be loved and give love. It makes the workplace feel much more like a family. Love makes employees happier, and happy employees can produce world-class results.
Epilogue: I love you
Devoted reader, before I leave you, I want to thank you for reading this article. Your time and interest to read this entire article all the way to the final paragraph shows that you are a deep thinker that cares about improving your relationships. I love that about you, and I think that this amazing mindset will enable you to become successful in everything that you do (feels good to hear this, right?! Don’t be afraid. Don’t wait a minute. Pass the LOVE@WORK revolution on to the guy in the next cubicle).
