How To Start A Conversation On A Dating App

Robert Campbell
International Online Dating
6 min readJun 14, 2024
How To Start A Conversation On A Dating App

You’re using dating apps but don’t know how to compose the first message that will make a person you like interested in you? No worries, in this article, we will talk about the best dating app conversation starters as well as help you master the art of small talk. But first, let’s take a look at the best dating apps with easy-to-use communication tools.

Best Dating Apps In 2024

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What to talk about on dating apps and sites

Pretty often when you meet someone, it’s rather hard to communicate with them. That happens simply because you don’t know each other well enough to talk about things you both like or make insider jokes. In this case, the best (and perhaps the only) thing you can do is get to know a person to establish a more meaningful connection. Ask a person about their hobbies, places they traveled to, job, favorite music, art, movies, etc. These, at first sight, simple questions will not only help you get to know a person, but also naturally develop the conversation. For example, if you both have the same taste in music, you can talk about your favorite bands and musicians. Moreover, sending your new friend a news post about a new album your favorite band is going to release or their tour dates is a great conversation starter.

So to sum up, if you don’t know what to talk about on a dating app, start with getting to know a person.

READ ALSO: Do Dating Apps Work? Online Dating Vs. Traditional Dating

How to start a conversation with a girl

Starting a conversation with a girl may be pretty stressful, especially for inexperienced guys. Well, the best dating advice any relationship coach will give you is to be yourself. Of course, it’s great advice, but it probably won’t help you compose a decent first message that won’t scare a girl you like off. So what to do in such a situation? We have some simple tips that you might want to use:

  • Forget about “what’s up?” In fact, this is perhaps the worst conversation starter, especially for the early stages of a relationship. Your first Tinder message has to lead to some follow up questions and eventually making a potential partner interested in you. So you have to come up with something more creative than “what’s up?”
  • Check a person’s profile to see how to start a conversation. As a rule, most girls have headlines, bio, and pictures on their profiles, so you want to check those out and use that info to start a conversation. For example, if a girl has lots of pictures from different countries, you can start talking about traveling.
  • Pay a compliment. It doesn’t work with every girl, but most ladies like it when a guy compliments their looks, which makes it one of the best ways to start a conversation on Tinder.

But what does a perfect starter message look like?

Conversation starters with a girl

Let’s take a look at some examples that led to the first date and eventually a long term relationship:

  • I love your Metallica shirt, have you ever been to their live gig?
  • I see you travel a lot, what is the best place you’ve been to so far?
  • I fell in love with your gorgeous eyes, do you think I will ever see them in real life?

As you can see, all the good conversations start with very personalized questions, so you have to explore a girl’s profile before composing the first message.

How to start a conversation with a guy

If you are a girl who wants to start a conversation with a guy on a dating app, we have good news for you — most guys always reply no matter how uncreative your message is. At the same time, online dating is not only about the first message. In fact, you have to maintain an interesting dialogue with a man if you want to date him. So here are some top tips for a good conversation on Tinder or similar dating apps:

  • Make sure you pay enough attention to the guy. Some girls talk about themselves all the time and don’t let a man share his thoughts, so make sure you allow your potential boyfriend to talk and ask him questions to get to know him better as well as make him feel appreciated.
  • Do not be too accessible. As a rule, boys do not like girls who text them a million times a day. So you have to avoid doing that as well as replying instantly to every single message. Of course, it’s not okay to make a guy wait for a reply for every message for ages, but it’s best to maintain some distance in the early stages of a potential relationship to keep a man interested in you.
  • Avoid discussing other women. Some ladies send guys pictures of other women and ask questions about them, hoping that a man they like will say that they are a hundred times prettier than the girls in the pics. Well, if you were doing it, just stop. You are the only woman that should be on your potential boyfriend’s mind, so do not discuss other girls with him.

Conversation starters with a guy

Women should not be afraid of starting a conversation on Tinder or, well, any other dating app, because it’s totally okay to message a man first. However, you have to make sure you do it right, so let’s see what a decent message looks like:

  • Do you work out? Because it looks like you do.
  • Have you ever been to Europe? Judging from your pics, you travel a lot.
  • What are you looking for on Tinder/CharmDate/Badoo?

Just like with the messages for the ladies, conversation starters with a guy also have to be personal and lead to a further dialogue. At the same time, as we have already mentioned above, if you are hot, any message will do and a guy will definitely reply to you.

Online dating conversation tips

So what general online chatting tips can we give to both men and women? Let’s see:

  1. Be yourself because your won’t be able to pretend to be someone else for the rest of your life
  2. Don’t be afraid of making the first move since you have to text other people first to eventually meet the one
  3. If you are looking for a sex only relationship, it’s better to clarify it right away
  4. Show your genuine interest in the person you’re chatting with online
  5. If you aren’t sure whether a person will understand a joke you want to make, it’s better to avoid making it
  6. Do not feel blue if you feel like you there’s no immediate connection between you and the person you met on a dating site, usually it takes some time to get to know someone
  7. In case you are using a group chat, don’t be afraid to send messages there; nobody will hurt you for that
  8. Do not make your potential partner wait for your response for ages, most people cannot stand that
  9. If you feel like it’s the right person, offer them to meet IRL
  10. And finally, remember that people may not answer because they have their reasons to do that. They may not like you or be subjective to other thousand of things; don’t let it prevent you from trying more and more.

WATCH! How to start a conversation on a dating app:

Final thoughts

Meeting new friends and chatting online is a lot of fun. Moreover, it can help you find your soulmate. So do not hesitate, search for the best dating sites, and meet new people now.

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Robert Campbell
International Online Dating

Editor in Chief at Have an ability of moving beloved people to one each other's arms.