Been ill for over a week. Always ill. Told myself months, years ago to keep a diary so that I could record when I’m ill and quantitively record just how bad my immune.
Didn’t listen to myself.
[dials number, listens to hold music, informed that my call is very important, more hold music, informed that my call will be answered in approximately four minutes, hold music for five more minutes, informed that I may want to call back later, more…
I’m going to write a think piece about thought leadership in a world of confused thought and thoughtless…
I have discovered that man-size tissues are not the size of a man. I am shocked. Did you know about this?
I think I may write a letter of complaint to the author; the prankster who released man-size tissues into existence knowing full well the absurdity…
Just finished brushing my three-year-old’s hair before bed.
“You’re so pretty!” I said.
“No I’m not,” she said, wandering off to the bookshelf to choose a bedtime story.
“Why? Why are you not pretty?” I said, a slight ring of surprise in my voice.
My socks keep finding holes. They love them. Why do my socks have a hole fetish?