I Am a Boomer’s Lawn and You Will Bow Before My Superiority
You think you know green? You’ve never seen green until you’ve seen me.
You think you know green? You’ve never seen green until you’ve seen me.
Just so we’re clear, when I say “green,” I’m referring to the color, not environmentally friendly efforts, because I’m pretty much the opposite of that.
Have you ever seen a shade that so rivals the Emerald Isle as mine does? Can you believe you’re not dreaming when you gaze upon the uniformity of my grass blades’ length? I make the greens at the Augusta National Golf Club resemble wild, overgrown fields. Weeds don’t dare to grow and dogs don’t dare to shit here. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even know what a dandelion looks like anymore.
They say relationships grow less passionate as they age, but I’ve found the opposite to be true with me and my homeowner. He had far less time for me in his working and child-rearing years, but ever since he retired, his interest in me has skyrocketed. He mows me at least three times a week in the spring and summer, and if I told you about all of the edging and blowing that we share together, you’d blush bright red…which is the opposite color of me on the color wheel, by the way. Not sure if you knew that.
