Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs because they are………..
Inca hoots.
I have a clock that used to go tick toc tic toc.
Who will help you when you make that little misstep in life………..
Your podiatrist.
I got a movie and asked a friend to come over and watch it with me.
A priest a monk and a rabbit donate blood at a local clinic and then stop in a bar for a drink.
I saw a man in a bar wearing 8 watches.
I said to him………..
“Man, it looks like you have a lot of time on your hands.”
“Don’t leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. Just say the word and you will meet her and be…
A man drove his car into a ditch.
A farmer came along and offered to pull him out.
If I should die by chocking to death on gummy bears…..
I hope people will say, “he was killed by bears”, and just leave it at that.
If I’m unhappy I sing…
Then I realize that my voice is worse than my problems.