Self Compassion
Hi! How’s life?
Guys, I just read and learned about self-compassion through X and the internet, and it got me excited, and I realized at the same time that I don’t implement that much in any aspect of my life.
So, basically, self-compassion is about how we treat ourselves when we’re down, failed, or triggered by bad things. We often blame ourselves when reality doesn’t match our expectations, and it can start with us hurting and blaming ourselves continuously, as well as causing DAMAGE to our psychological well-being. Self-compassion can be interpreted and understood as a concept in the face of all difficulties and failures to become positive things.
Here, I want to share that there are three components of self-compassion, and I hope it will be my reminder to retell what I know to you guys.
- Self Kindness
Being kind, especially to ourselves, when we have failed, made a mistake, or going through a difficult time. Provide the attention, awareness, and understanding that if it’s okay to fail, it’s okay to make a mistake. Imperfection and failure are common things that each person has experienced before in their life, right? Instead of getting mad and self-judging, why don’t we give ourselves a hug and kind words? When this reality is denied or fought against, suffering increases in the form of stress, frustration, and self-criticism. When this reality is accepted with sympathy and kindness, greater emotional equanimity is experienced.
Everyone meets failure, everyone makes mistakes, and so do I! It’s okay. Let yourself breathe and learn from it. I’ve written about failure and how to deal with it, you can also re-read it here.
2. Common Humanity
The second is common humanity. As I said, we are NOT alone in suffering in this world, so don’t feel lonely or alone and think that only you can fail or have bad things.
Experiencing loss and rejection, humiliation, or other negative things, they often feel that the experience only happens to them. In reality, everyone also experiences these problems and sufferings. Never feel like a failure yourself and criticize yourself excessively. Common humanity provides awareness that every human being has painful experiences and that it is natural to happen in the life cycle, so there is no need to feel isolation when experiencing bad things.
All humans suffer, however. The definition of “human” means that one is mortal, vulnerable, and imperfect. Therefore, self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience — something that we all go through rather than something that happens to “me” alone. (UNC)
3. Mindfulness
Mindfulness involves a balanced perspective in dealing with situations so as not to be carried away by emotions. People with low self-compassion tend to dwell negatively on the situation and feel devastated by their emotions when faced painful experiences and difficult situations in life. However, people who have the concept of self-compassion are able to maintain an intact point of view. Here, mindfulness is important to help us focus, pay attention to our feelings, and be compassionate to ourselves in difficult moments in life.
Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mental state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are without trying to suppress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. At the same time, mindfulness requires that we’re not “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity. (UNC)
Are self-compassion and self-love the same thing?
Both are similar but have different things to use. Self-compassion is applied when we have felt and accepted an unfortunate moment, while we can apply self-love whenever we want. In simple words, self-compassion is about acceptance and being kind to ourselves whenever we meet bad things. Self-love is more about appreciating what we have in ourselves.
I hope this article can be enlightening and a reminder for me and you to always be kind and don’t engage in self-judgment, isolation, or over identification. It’s okay to fail, it’s okay to make a mistake. There are bright things waiting for you!
Hi! This is Lindaini and welcome to my Medium world. Thank you for reading and spending your little time to read my article. I hope my writing can inspire you and let my unspoken feelings get to you too. All the advice, criticism, and compliments you can send to Lindaini.
Love, Lindaini
