Your Obstacles Are Your Happiness
There is no absolute formula for being happy. Because when we base our happiness on a certain thing or formula, in reality, we are merely curious about something we don’t yet have, not truly finding our happiness in it.
In fact, someone who has achieved their so-called formula for happiness might still not feel happy and often ends up creating a new formula. For example: someone who bases their happiness on having a luxurious house. When that goal is achieved, their happiness might be short-lived, often followed by other desires or wishes for things they don't yet have. Ultimately, they create a new formula for happiness. And this cycle continues endlessly, meaning they never truly feel happy.
So, is the problem the luxurious house? Absolutely no, the cause is our obsession and emotions. Because we still believe that happiness lies in something we don’t yet have. This is the result of our emotions. And it’s all an illusion.
“A fixation on happiness inevitably amounts to a never-ending pursuit of ‘something else’.” —Mark Manson
Someone who is fixated on a certain goal to feel happy tends never to achieve it. Because they are obsessed with their goal without realizing the obstacles they need to overcome. Then they feel “my life is full of suffering, I never deserve happiness.” Oh no, if only they knew that their happiness actually lies in those very obstacles.
We often think that the suffering we experience, the pain we feel, or the obstacles we face are tortures and miseries. Whereas our happiness actually lies in the pain we feel. We feel satisfied when we manage to get through or solve the problems we face, right? We would be very proud to tell our children and grandchildren about all the obstacles we managed to overcome, right?
Unfortunately, most people choose to avoid that pain and choose the safe way. They prefer to run away and are reluctant to feel the pain they should face. Because they believe, once again, that happiness lies in their goal, not in the process they go through.
A luxurious house, wealth, or a beautiful wife are not our goals; they are the results or outcomes of the suffering we go through. We are too in love with the goals we want instead of loving the process we ought to undergo, where our true happiness lies.