No More Christian Nice Girl*

I’m not a conformist, ya know.

This story you’re about to read is probably going to offend someone. If that’s you, that’s unfortunate. The views expressed and stated in this article are of my own and are not intended to purposely offend anyone.

Why I will no longer sit around and be that “nice little Christian girl.”

My whole life I was raised to believe that Jesus is the Son of God. I was raised to believe that God is the almighty and is the ruler of everything. So, technically you can say I was raised “Christian.” However, my family never went to church. I only went to church a few times with the neighbor across the street because I wanted to go see friends, not because I wanted to worship God. I never lived a “Christian lifestyle.”

I didn’t become a “church going Christian” until I was 19. The reason behind that is because during my teen years, I was in a really dark place in my life. At age 17 I found out I was adopted through the old school social network MySpace—back when it was the in thing. I was always going out every weekend to typical high school parties and would get drunk. I also smoked alot, both weed and cigarettes—which I quit at 19. I would put on a front and always smile and pretend like everything was okay, but it never really was. So cliche…I get it. I was also still in that insecure teenage phase we all go through. (Read about that in my other article, here). So moral of the story, I started going to church with a friend and actually went to find out more about this “God” that I was raised to believe in. Well, I found him. I am eternally grateful to God for pulling me out of that dark place where I was.

But being a Christian doesn’t mean I have to completely transform who I am and what I believe in.

I went to a previous church (which will remain nameless) when I first became Christian. Everything was fine in the beginning—everything seemed to be perfect. I would go to all the services which were held a few times a week. I would worship like everyone else. I would pray like everyone else. I would do everything, just like everyone else. It’s unfortunate that it wasn’t until a year later in that church where I realized I had become one of those stereotypical Christians**. I turned into the kind that has to act like shes perfect. The one that has to do exactly what the Bible tells her. I was the girl who thought that if I wasn’t perfect, that God wasn’t going to love me anymore. I would put a smile on my face to EVERYONE because I was Christian and that’s how Christian people are “supposed” to be. They’re supposed to be nice, perfect, caring, model citizens.

THEN IT HIT ME!
Talk about an epiphany.

I didn’t have to be THAT person anymore. It was like God saying “STOP AND LISTEN!” I kept getting that feeling in my gut, the one that usually tends to be right. It was telling me that I don’t need to be the perfect Christian model citizen. I don’t have to hide my true identy and put up a “good girl” front just because I’m a believer.

Here’s a list of what I was—or at least thought I was.

1. I had to be perfect and if I wasn’t God wouldn’t love me anymore.
2. I had to smile in everyone’s faces, even if I really wanted to tear their throat out.
3. I had to be nice.
4. I always had to give my last few bucks to the offering.

……The list goes on. Here’s what I discovered though.

1. I don’t have to be perfect. God called me to him when I was IMPERFECT. He wanted me and loved me even when I was in my crazy, wild, I gotta drink every weekend shenanigans! God wants ALL of us exactly how we are NOW! In the words of Jefferson Bethke, “the church is NOT a museum for the good people. It’s a hospital for the broken!” (Mark 2:17 if you want a biblical reference). We should be opening our doors for the ones who need help! We should want the ones who we all call “sinners.” We should never discriminate against anyone, regardless of skin color, sexual preference, if they have tattoos/piercings, etc.! Honestly, we should even open the door to our enemies. (Luke 6:35)
2. If I can’t smile behind your back, I refuse to smile to your face. Simple. If I have a problem with you I will, respectfully, pull you aside and let you know how it is. I won’t sit back and pretend like everything is okay when it’s not. However there is a time and a place for that.
3. Being nice is over rated. I’m human. I get angry. Sometimes I get too angry and that’s when it becomes a problem, but I just have to learn to control it. I don’t have to get rid of it completely by hiding it. I firmly believe it’s not healthy to hide any emotion, especially anger; but, again, there’s a time and a place for that.
4. Money. The bible talks about tithes and giving 10% of your income to God. (Lev. 27:30-33 & Num. 18:21-28). The word “tithe” means a tenth. I give my tithes out of every paycheck, humbly. I’m a firm believer of what goes around comes around. I do believe that God will bless me for me giving my 10%. Your opinion is your opinion though. So if you don’t believe it, I’m not going to shun you. However, if I have $3 left in my pocket and that’s all I have left til payday, I learned that I’m not going to get bad karma for not giving it. Now the bible does talk about if you give a sacrifice of some kind unto God, then it will be repaid unto you in return, sometimes bigger then what you gave (Luke 6:38). But if I don’t want to give my last $3, then I don’t have to. Nothing bad will happen in return.

One thing though that does AGGRAVATE the hell out of me—

STEREOTYPING PEOPLE LIKE ME WITH “THOSE” CHRISTIANS

Lets be honest, you’ve done it. Shoot, I’ve done it! Before I actually became Christian, I would stereotype all Christians together to be stuck up, hypocritical, sociopathic jerks. However I realized that true followers of Christ aren’t like that at all. It’s sad that some who call themselves Christian’s are though. I don’t go to church because I think I’m perfect and think I have it all together. I go to church because I know I’m imperfect and I’m a mess and I need the love of the Father to remind me that He loves me. I go because I know I’m weak and I need to be reminded that when I’m weak, HE is strong. Not only that but I genuinely have a heart for people. All types. Gay, straight, different ethnic groups, disabled, non-believers, etc. I believe that we are all children of God and it doesn’t matter if I agree or don’t agree with someone’s opinion— at the end of the day….

…God called me to LOVE.

*Personal opinion alert. I’m not speaking for anyone except myself*

If you want to be gay, then BE GAY! Do I agree that Gay’s should have Equal Rights (hospital visits, owning a home, signing legal documentation, etc.), YES! I agree with that. Do I agree with the marriage part? Personally, no—don’t give one of those judgmental “there she goes” lines, either. Just respect my opinion. However even though I don’t agree with the lifestyle, I do believe everyone has the RIGHT TO CHOOSE how they want to live their lives without anyone else’s opinion mattering. I REFUSE to say I “hate the sin, but love the sinner.” Because I’m a sinner! When I say that, I’m basically saying love myself but hate what I do. That makes no sense. If being Gay is a sin then—in God’s eyes— it’s the same thing as me lying or thinking bad/mean things about someone, or whatever other sin I commit. 100% honestly, I love gay people. I love everyone—to an extent.

Now if I don’t like you it’s not cause of your age, sexual preference, race, nationality, gender, etc….it’s because you and I have had a personal issue or problem in the past and we can’t get past it.

Also, I’m not a bible thumper. Please don’t ever call me one. Of course I’m going to share the word with you once or twice—but I know how to stop after you say “no” on more then one occasion. I refuse to shove it down your throat. I will never force God upon you.

I refuse to be someone that I’m not. I will not stand aside and let people tell me that I’m a hypocrite. Yes, I’m a Christian. Yes, I love Jesus. I love who I am through him. But as for me…..

no more Christian nice girl.

Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease.

*My article has no affiliation with the book No More Christian Nice Girl written by Paul Coughlin and Jennifer Degler. Although I did use their title because it went along well with my point. I’ve never read the book either. Just giving credit where it’s due so I don’t get in legal problems.☺

**Just to be clear, I didn’t become that “stereotypical Christian girl” because of that church I was attending or because of the people inside of it. It was just a personal issue. Even though I don’t attend that church anymore, I learned a lot from there and still visit from time to time. It’s still a great church. ☺