Kittie’s Weekend Throwup… er, Back with Google Translate

Week 1: Balls, Breasts — Breasts, Balls

Kittie Phoenix
Kittie Phoenix, the Next Edition
2 min readJul 29, 2017

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To bow to pop culture, I’m thinking about starting a new “feature” on my blog for Fridays.

It’s going to be a cross between the TBT movement on Facebook, where old things (usually pics) are reshared on Thursdays and a disturbing trend on YouTube that has sucked my kids in.

In this trend, songs annoying to teens are highlighted. The English lyrics are taken into Google translate, translated into several languages, then translated back into English before a new video is created.

As a sample, I’m including a link to Mulan’s “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.” For some, it will make your skin crawl at the desecration of good art. For others, you’ll laugh and make try what I’ll try.

So, for my first attempt, here’s Balls, Breasts — Breasts, Balls after several layers of Google translate. The poem title is hyperlinked to the original.

Today’s path is English-Arabic-Afrikaans-Chinese-Hebrew-Hungarian-English… Alright, that one didn’t work. Too many non-Latin characters…

Let me simplify: English-Esperanto-Basque-Swahili-English. Yeah, it’s good… went to more of an R than a PG-13, but it did what the song parodies did. And it’s funny, but to me, some of the lines are even more accurately reflecting culture…

Feel free to suggest other poems for me to try this with!

Balls on the chest
Under the breast balls,
Balls touch the breast.
As breasts and can be considered and can be discussed,
Do not have balls and open the door?
If you can throw the ball to any outfit, and go,
Why wear breast
And the color of the doll?
If you want to do with work, breasts do not work
More more like chefs and cleaning and removing land
And to answer the phone and coordination galore,
How can I do for breeding, or more?
Balls to embrace breast and good only,
But the breasts become a city talk for abuse -
Wizard slut Bitch immorality.
Challenge balls limits.
Balls do not see chest limits.
Breasts should not know or limit or strengthen them.
Activities involving children
Results of Balk balls,
But breast and their work begin to smiley.
When breasts are like balls,
The world just explodes -
Bitchy is also strong in negative.
When the balls to the chest,
Snickers and sniggers around the world -
So fairy, preacher, and weird.
Breast balls are no different.
Only more are flip sides of one coin.
We respect the views and events.
If not, breast and balls and we will see their roles
There is also uptight, too tight,
Too strict separation?
What sex is glissando
She took breast and slide balls
So a chance of good harmony?

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Kittie Phoenix
Kittie Phoenix, the Next Edition

Teacher | Writer | Parent | Spouse | Thinker | Dreamer | Wanderer | Mischief Explorer | Country Mouse (more tags to follow over time)