Confessions of a Mystic
I asked God to take away my psychic abilities
A few years ago, I frequently experienced strong visions and heard insights and epiphanies. These abilities were particularly useful during healing sessions for others.
However, as they grew stronger, I didn’t know how to control them… and it became too overwhelming for my mental system as they showered on me almost every second everywhere I went.
I prayed to God
“I don’t want this. It’s ‘too much’. Please take it away… Can you spread this out to my body instead?”
That’s exactly what happened.
My sensations heightened, and the energetic vibrations I felt around my body intensified. I became much more physically sensitive around different people and environments.
On the upside, my non-sexual orgasmic experiences increased, while my self-pleasure and sexual encounters became much more alive, often intense, and deeply spiritual. I loved it.
I continued to have profound mystical experiences, but my psychic showers reduced to droplets in comparison. I couldn’t imagine handling them at full intensity.
I felt it was much more manageable this way…
Your gifts can be taken away from you
One day, I was chatting with a fellow healer who shared her experiences from living in India for years. She shared a story about a man who had strong psychic abilities, who all of a sudden, lost all of those abilities.
“But it’s always with you…” I argued.
“I guess if you don’t truly want it, if you don’t use it, or if the Universe decides it’s not for you, then it can be taken away from you,” she suggested.
I felt a lump in my throat.
I still refuse to believe your gifts can be taken away from you. But this principle applies to every choice we have in life, doesn’t it?
If you receive a gift from the Universe and you embrace it, it will continue to be available for you… unless you reject it.
This isn’t necessarily good or bad, I reasoned to myself. I made a choice that I believed was necessary to find my balance at the time.
I made an effort to keep myself grounded in the physical
I wanted to be more present, relatable, and human. But at the time, I had a conditioned idea of what being “human” truly meant.
No owl says, “I don’t want to see in the dark anymore. I want to sleep at night!”
No chameleon says, “I don’t want to change colors anymore. It’s confusing everyone!”
No dog says, “I don’t want to have a strong sense of smell anymore. Everything stinks!”
No bat says, “I don’t want to have sharp hearing anymore. It’s f*ing loud!”
No eagle says, “I don’t want to see everything. The light is blinding!”
As humans, we’ve been conditioned as a society to suppress our clairsenses and supernatural abilities, associating them with witchy or dark themes meant to be feared, and worse, celebrated only on Halloween.
Many have turned away from their divine gifts and powerful connection with the greater forces of the Universe.
I find in my journey though, that as we continue to peel back our layers and expand ourselves as humans in alignment to our spirit, our true nature is increasingly revealed to us…
Whatever parts of ourselves we have turned away from will eventually call us back home.
Today, I heard that calling
A calling to use my psychic gifts again…
A calling to not be afraid to be different…
A calling to return home.
A calling from within me that I’m ready to wholeheartedly embrace.
If you have a calling within you to explore your true nature, discover your Human Design gifts, and deepen your connection with your true self, I invite you dive into an in-depth reading or consultation with me.
You may email me at kate@katestellar.com ✨
