Why Can’t Lovers Become Friends?
The order of things.
The blessing of having a lover and friend in one person is one I pray for all.
We only get to know people as much as they allow us to. It takes a lifetime to truly discover all that a person is.
Curiosity won’t kill this cat of which I am. It is often advised that if you like somebody it is best to start as friends before venturing into a relationship with them. Get to know the person before you lay yourself down in a higher form of commitment. But doesn’t that feel like a 'try and error’? Maybe it depends on how you look at it.
I’m intrigued as to why people can’t start as lovers and then find friendship on the way. Why can’t friendship be the bonus book sometimes? Why can’t we have the order of things in reverse where this subject is concerned? I mean it’s like choosing to wash your body from down up (beginning with your legs) or like choosing to eat your meat/ fish alongside your rice or whatever it is you’re eating rather than waiting till the end to eat it as if it’s a reward(that’s how I like to eat my food but my mum hated it then now she eats that way too. Lol).
The most important thing in all of these scenarios is that the job gets done.
I’m starting to think that maybe it’s because it’ll be hard to put feelings aside to find the friend in our lover. Let’s not even begin to talk about the theory of 'we can’t be friends after we stop being lovers.'
Well, I don’t know how that works.
I suppose we could attribute it to the way things ended between the lovers. Or the dynamics of their relationship while they were still together.
However, I can understand how that’s a possible result when both parties were sexually intimate during the cause of their relationship. Anyway, I find myself concluding to start as lovers and then find friendship along the way. Because all these years I thought my kind of love would burn slowly but that has left me nothing but crumbs, heartbroken and torn. Just for the sake of trying something new, I might get burnt I know, but I’ve been burnt even without trying.
- Mind you, we could be lovers and not have our bodies collide, if that’s not what you want then boy bye.
Would you rather find ‘the lover in the friend' or find the ‘friend in the lover'
