Broken Whole
How God used Church hurt to heal me
In my previous articles, which you can find here and here, I spoke extensively about church hurt and its effects on me. First and foremost, I do not want this to become about bashing the church-at-large because there are some great churches out there.
Just because some of the apples are rotten, I’ve realized that I don’t have to give up hope on the whole batch. After going through a grieving and healing process, God showed me that He would ultimately work everything to my good, even when things seemed the darkest.
Three things became evident when God healed me from church hurt:
- God is in control — He will move hell and high water to get to me. No sheep left behind.
- Process of Purification — The hurt showed that things could be different.
- The Power of Forgiveness — helped show me the depth of meaning of forgiving seventy times seven.
God is in control
When I left the church due to some inadequate dealing by leadership, I was very disillusioned. These people had been my family for so long that it felt like a drawn-out family breakdown. When a family is in disarray, it affects you emotionally and spiritually.
It felt like my spiritual covering got yanked away in an instant. So there I was, vulnerable and broken, not knowing where to go or who to speak to about what had happened.
First, I was angry at the church and didn’t want anything to do with it. Everyone and everything was terrible in my mind and not to be trusted. It’s a natural reaction but not a godly response because these are people, not God, who left me.
And that’s exactly what the Holy Spirit started impressing on my heart through daily prayer and meditation. People fail, but God is always faithful and true. No matter what people may do, our Heavenly Father is consistent and filled with mercy towards our pain and misgivings. He showed me through the hurt that He is an ever-present help and comfort throughout it all.
Process of purification
In my previous article, “Broken by the Church,” I’ve mentioned that a time-out from going to church is an opportune moment to sift through what is important to you in a church. What stood out to me when I was reevaluating what I needed and wanted in a church home was that I was putting too much stock in them.
Yes, it’s great to have a church you can engage in plenty of activities. However, it’s not OK to make it the primary source of your way of connecting with Christ. Through these church mishaps, I’ve learned to latch onto Christ and let Him bless me with people in my life who can help edify me in Him.
The power of forgiveness
Church hurt is hurt in general, even though it is specific wto a local body of Christ. It has to do with people making unfortunate decisions that negatively affect a lot of people.
We can argue about who is at fault and who should do what, but ultimately the crux lands squarely on forgiveness. There is no special Scripture in the Bible that gives us a pass for unforgiveness when it comes to the local church. Jesus was very emphatic in Matthew 18: 21–22, NIV:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?”Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy-seven times!
In my inner turmoil, The Holy Spirit gently reminded me that I had to forgive the people in the church who hurt me. It doesn’t matter what they did; it is all covered under the forgiveness of the blood of Jesus. Honestly, I wrestled with that for a long time until I ran across the passage in the Bible that unforgiveness can hinder our prayers.
For me, it didn’t just hinder my prayers but my personal relationship with Christ. It shook me out of unforgiveness and into a space of repentance to the Lord when I realized that I was sinning as well by holding unto unforgiveness.
God reminded me of the verse in Romans 12 (NIV) that states:
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone.
Holding onto church hurt was nothing but the enemy coming in like a flood to keep me away from the most beautiful part of being on earth. God’s intention for us that are saved is to be a pleasing aroma to a world in disarray and destruction.
While I was busy holding unto pain that Jesus died for, there are more perishing who do not know Him. The Holy Spirit admonished me to stay alert and to step into forgiveness. Church hurt may eventually happen again, but now I’m reminded of the powerful redemptive work of Christ that He did for me and you.
