Conquering Shame and Addiction
How Jesus changed my life and can change yours, too!
Everyone has experienced embarrassment in one form or another.
Tripping on an uneven sidewalk can turn your face red and maybe even your knees, but the feeling won’t last. People will forget that you fell and your knees will heal.
Shame, though, is a feeling that eats away at you. It lives inside your mind. You’re the only one who can see it, and it can destroy your life.
What is shame?
Shame is like a short circuit in an electrical pathway.
Think about it this way. You rely on electricity daily, but if there is a short circuit because of faulty wiring or loose connections, the result can be severe — fire, burns, and even electrocution!
Shame is like a short circuit in your nervous system. It can turn normal feelings of embarrassment into anxiety by making your mind believe that you are in an emergency situation. Your body then goes into a “fight or flight” mode.
Addiction and shame
I was an addict for 20+ years of my life. While the substances of my addiction morphed over time, the power it had over me grew to where I was no longer in control.
Today, I am proud to say that I am 58 days sober.
Now that I can look at my addiction with a clear mind, I see that shame is the one thing that stood in my way to recovery.
Every time I wanted to get clean, I would have thoughts like these:
- You have to do this on your own because people will look down on you.
- How could you let addiction take over your life? You are weak.
- Your anxiety is too severe. You’ll never be able to survive.
Turning to Jesus
I ran from God for a long time. (If you want to know more about my journey, you can read about it here.) When I turned back to Jesus after many years of running, I realized that these self-condemning thoughts were not the truth. I learned that the enemy uses our self-doubt and shame to keep us broken down. He wants power over us.
But the power of Jesus is stronger than any self-doubt or self-condemnation!
But the Lord GOD helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame. (Isaiah 50:7, ESV)
Friendship conquers shame
When I turned to Jesus in prayer and asked for his help in freeing me from addiction, I was led to reach out to three friends at church and share my struggle.
The first friend I told spoke these words of life into me:
Putting things into the light is what God wants us to do. It can only be improved when it is brought to the light. Leaving it in the dark (not admitting or telling) keeps it growing. (An unnamed friend)
When I thought about her words, I asked God for strength in sharing my struggle with addiction. The shame I felt, I couldn’t conquer it on my own.
With every friend I share my story with, I am gifted with another person to hold me accountable and to whom I can reach out on bad days.
And the best part is, my shame is lessening and my faith is growing!
God has taken my addiction and shame and replaced them with friendship, hope, and peace.
I pray my story fills you with hope and the power to take on your own addictions without feeling shame.Thank you for reading! If you got value from this post please consider following me on Medium.
