Divine Signals
The critical need to tune into your emotions for a fuller spiritual life
Your emotions are like kids in a car. You don’t want them at the steering wheel, but you certainly don’t want them in the trunk, either. I heard this analogy a few years ago and it completely shifted my perspective on my emotions.
There is an unfortunate trend in Christian culture that downplays the significance of our emotions. For the most part, I don’t think this is intentional or overt. It’s often more subtle and a consequence of emphasizing the importance of our spiritual life. But this probable overemphasis on our spirit has come at a tremendous emotional cost for many believers.
“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thessalonians 5:23, NIV)
In this passage, Paul introduces the idea that we are three-part beings. Interestingly, he does not clearly emphasize one over the other. He says that he is praying for all three. Yet, for millennia, the church has done the opposite. It has almost singularly focused on our spiritual health while speaking very little to the health of our bodies or souls. It begs the question, what specifically does Paul mean by using the word soul?
The Greek word used in this passage of scripture is psychḗ, which directly translated means breath. Abstractly, it’s used throughout the scripture to describe the seat of our feelings, desires, affections, and aversions. (For a deeper word study, you can click here.) The best working definition I have heard used for the word soul is that it is compromised of our mind, will, and emotions.
The church's lack of emphasis on our soul (i.e., emotions) has left many, myself included until recently, unsure of what to do with them. Are they good? Are they bad? We are left wondering. All too often, when our emotions start to come up for one reason or another, we either stuff them or try to pray our way out of them as if they were some lesser inconvenience needing to be dealt with rather than an essential part of our humanity needing to be honored—and heard.
I was recently having coffee with a friend, and he shared with me about a tough day he had recently had. He mentioned being on the verge of tears but refused to let himself cry. How sad, I thought, that our culture—both sacred and secular—has devalued our emotions to the point that we feel incredibly uncomfortable when they begin to surface. I wondered what those tears were trying to tell him as we left the coffee shop that day.
For many, avoiding is simply easier than feeling, honoring, and processing. And while this may work for a time, it’s no way to truly live. What if we honored our emotions instead of devaluing them? What if, instead of stuffing our emotions, we became curious about them? Imagine the next time you felt some emotion rising, you simply asked what the emotion was trying to tell you. This is the beginning of the sacred connection to self. (I unpack more about that in this article.)
More often than not, I find that when a big emotion comes to the surface, it’s connected to some pain I experienced as a kid. These moments are great opportunities to allow the love and truth of God into a wounded place in our souls. Yet, all too often, we are simply too busy or uncomfortable to allow that sort of time and space. We miss an opportunity to encounter God and connect more with ourselves.
As I have begun to honor my own emotions, I have found they are a great barometer for the health of my soul. My heart has become more soft and tender toward the Lord and those important in my life. When I ignore my emotions, my heart hardens and waxes cold, as Scripture says.
In Romans 8:14, Paul makes it clear that those who call themselves children of God must be led by the Spirit of God. Our emotions are not great leaders and should not be in the driver’s seat — that space is reserved for our spirit. Our emotions do make great co-pilots. I have found it difficult to live authentically connected to God and myself without giving them a seat at the table and listening to what they have to say.
Enjoy this article? You are invited to continue the conversation with Kevin on The Courageous Connection podcast.
