Spiritual Partnerships

My second wife Abigail introduced me to the concept of “Spiritual Partners,” as taught by Geshe Michael Roach, the Tibetan Buddhist teacher who was the first American to receive the Geshe degree at Sera Monastery in Tibet. The basic principle is that each of us creates the entire world around us, and the reality that we perceive and experience is dependent on our past karma. This includes all of our relationships. All our experiences- good, bad or indifferent- are created by us. Therefore the world, our reality, is merely a reflection of our karma.

This may appear to be far-fetched for most, but its application is quite powerful and can be life-transforming if applied diligently. When you adopt this perspective, you recognize your partner to be your spiritual guide, and likewise, you are their spiritual guide. One very important point and warning is that you CANNOT/MUST NOT expect your partner to adopt this perspective because whether or not they are able to perceive and accept this is dependent on their karma. So if your partner is your spiritual guide, who YOU (your higher self) in fact created, then everything they do is for the purpose of serving your highest best. Even when they appear to be torturing you, YOU created them to do exactly that for the purpose of teaching you what YOU wanted to learn and experience from being tortured. Are you with me so far?

Another way of expressing this is to say that your partner serves as your mirror, allowing you to see yourself as you truly are. All relationships serve this same purpose. This is the reason why many people can do the same things without it bothering you at all, but when your partner or close relations do the same thing, it triggers you. They are your mirrors and your reaction is your reflection.

So from this perspective, the next time your partner does something that prompts a negative emotion in you, take a deep breath, give them a heart-felt hug, bow to them and say thank you. You express gratitude because they are showing you something that YOU (your higher self) created in order to show you (present self) something that you needed to bring to your awareness, deal with, confront, and address. It is the awareness itself that has the power to heal and release. Unfortunately, we tend to point the finger at our partners and blame them for “doing something” that “caused” our reaction/suffering. Yes, this is in fact what is “apparently” happening. If your karma allows it, you are able to SEE further and recognize what is truly happening at a deeper level. At this level, you recognize that YOU have created EVERYTHING, and the world is a mirror in which you are able to see your reflection.

The alternative is to continue to point your finger, blame your partner, and becoming part of that staggering 50% divorce rate statistic (This obviously applies to couples who are not married; and interestingly, it does not include second marriages and divorces which would likely bring that percentage to about 70%). Since YOU (your higher self) wanted you to have this experience and learn something, and you didn’t, then it will continue to escalate and bite you in the butt during the next relationship. I learned this first-hand when I noted the eerie pattern that each of my partners were exhibiting the very same behaviors that were annoying me. It was as though they were collaborating. It then occurred to me that it was me and not them that provoked those behaviors. I then learned that in fact, it was ALL ME as I created EVERYTHING. Likewise, it is ALL YOU! Hence the saying: “What you resist, persists!”

At this level, EVERYONE is FORGIVEN for EVERYTHING because YOU (your higher self) created it all for your benefit. You don’t have to fully accept this intellectually but I suggest you try it on for size. I guarantee that your life will change for the better and all the drama around you will fade. What do you have to lose? As Abigail used to say: “Fake it ‘til you make it!”

Here’s the other piece of this: Once you recognize that we all serve as mirrors for one another, you will attempt to be the best mirror possible. I described elsewhere (https://medium.com/lanoixvisions/stopping-the-waves-88a0e2e1afa3) the crystalline lake above which you are floating. The more drama you have in your life, the more drops that fall into the lake and create ripples, waves, large waves that turn into tsunamis. These tsunamis travel all the way around the world and return to violently knock you on your butt. You immediately get up and point your finger at the first person you see, usually your partner, and accuse them of knocking you down. When you can SEE, you understand that it was all YOU and your partner is simply serving as your mirror.

The more ripples that we create, the blurrier the reflection that we offer and our partners then react to the ripples/waves/tsunamis and are unable to see themselves clearly. Their resultant ripples/waves/tsunamis then prevent us from seeing ourselves. We consequently end up in a situation where our drama is reacting to their drama, thereby creating even more drama. When you enter in a “Spiritual Partnership,” you both try to be the best mirrors for each other, without any ripples that blur your partner’s reflection.

Before becoming hip to any of this, I wrote a poem entitled “Cognitive Dissonance”© where I wrote the following:

“If I could only hold a mirror large enough to show you your wings, your reaction would delight the Gods.”*

Imagine a relationship where both partners get this and enter into this “Spiritual Partnership.” No matter what happens, you say thank you and express gratitude because you KNOW that YOU (your higher self) created the situation, and your partner’s higher self consented to serve as the person that will do whatever YOU requested to create the experience you required, even if it means torturing you. Imagine the sacrifice that your partner is undertaking to torture you so viciously when THEY (higher self) truly love you so much. This sacrifice in response to YOUR desire and request is a true manifestation of this love. At this level, there’s only LOVE & GRATITUDE.

For the entire poem: https://medium.com/lanoixvisions/cognitive-dissonance-f64035e920f0

I am an emergency physician, writer and a lover of life. The purpose of this blog is to share my ideas, experiences and perspectives as they relate to Consciousness, and as they evolve. Consciousness encompasses everything in my life, your life, the world, the Universe — in other words — EVERYTHING! As the great Shaman Don Diego used to say: “It’s not the most important thing, and it’s not the least important thing…It’s the ONLY thing!”

Check out my novel: “The Twin Flames, the Master, and the Game”! It’s available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Balboa Press.