Harder or Easier? The Current Social Situation of Single Mothers
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This article is part of the 42th issue of LEAP — Voices of Youth e-letter. Subscribe now.
＊For the purpose of this article, “single mother” refers to mothers who have never been married.
“I’m not married, I’m a single mom!” The heroine in the episode of the hit show, Women in Taipei, fights for her career and has several relationships before starting her own business and becoming a single mother.
Japanese YouTuber “Sanae SANA” has made several videos explaining her journey as a single mother, while telling people that being a single parent is not that hard and reminding how parents in a traditional family have a lot to compromise and endure as well.
However, being a single mother is not always as pleasant as it is portrayed in the media; especially in Taiwanese society where having a child out of wedlock is often a controversial option. Many studies have pointed out that when it comes to unwed pregnancy, the first thing that comes to people’s mind is “underage pregnancy”, which is considered a social problem.
In such a situation, single mothers who are adults become a group that is not fully supported by social welfare policies. In fact, unwed pregnancies are certainly not limited to underage girls; there are many adult women who choose or accept to have children out of wedlock. When it comes to unwed adult mothers, they are often considered to have a certain level of education, independence and financial capability. Therefore, compared to underage “young mothers,” adult single mothers tend to be a group ignored by society and social welfare policies.
Women choosing to “have children out of wedlock” does not mean ignorance
According to statistics from the Directorate General of Budget, Accounting and Statistics for the past ten years, no matter whether they have been married or unmarried, the percentage of single-parent families in Taiwan reached 10.81% in 2021. If we take the capital city of Taipei as an example, 87.95% of the 1,626 people who applied for Assistance for Family in Hardship in 2019 were single parents, of which 91.39% were single mothers. Among them, there are unmarried “single mothers” who choose to take up the responsibility of raising their children alone.
Hung-ju Lai, assistant professor of the Department of Social Policy and Social Work at National Chi Nan University, has studied why increasingly more women in Taiwan are taking the path of “having children out of wedlock.” Women who choose to be unmarried mothers base their decisions on factors, such as the level of acceptance by the primary family or the birth father’s will. Another factor is their own beliefs. Women may become single mothers because of a sense of responsibility or a desire for motherhood.
In fact, increasingly more women are choosing to become single mothers. And, to some extent, it is related to changes in the dynamics of intimate relationships in modern society.
In the book, Das Ganz Normale Chaos der Liebe (The Normal Chaos of Love), by Beck and Beck-Gernsheim, it mentions that because of the trend toward “personalization,” both men and women in relationships are no longer seeking to fulfill their marital obligations or having their heirs, but to pursue personal identity through romantic relationships. Such a change also reflects the rising trend of diverse intimate relationships.
In her study, Ya-Yun Cheng analyzes and identifies the choices made by adult unwed mothers in terms of childbearing. In addition to the aforementioned expectations of parenthood, there are also aspirations for freedom, distrust of marriage, and the belief that parenting is a responsible act.
Lai’s study concludes that in between the struggles these mothers have to make, they are not as “ignorant” as some might think. Even though the factors that caused them to choose to be single mothers are complicated, they eventually went through many evaluations before going on the path of being a single parent.
In such a social context, women also have different life choices. However, as the context of time and space changes, will society’s expectations towards parenting change?
Due to high expectations regarding motherhood and incomprehensive policies, single mothers still have to rely on themselves
Hui-Fen Hung, an associate professor in the Department of Social Work at Soochow University, has pointed out that Taiwanese society does not change its expectations of intensive mothering after a woman becomes a single mother. In fact, parenthood is a highly gendered phenomenon.
In her analysis, if a man takes on the responsibilities to be a single parent, his commitment to work will be strongly supported by his primary family. And, even if a single father neglects to take care of his children because of his work, it is easier to be understood by everyone. However, when the role switches to a single mother, she is expected to put her child as the priority on her schedule. Therefore, in terms of working hours and patterns, single mothers are often forced to choose places, such as convenience stores and breakfast stores for work, where work schedules make it more convenient for them to pick up and take care of their children.
When a woman becomes a single mother, she has to face the coming challenges. However, the government’s welfare policy still tends to be a “residual welfare” for the care of single parents. In other words, the government’s role in the issue of single mothers is only the last line of defense for society. Unless a person or a family is at the end of their rope, then the government will provide the least amount of subsidy.
Thus, for many single mothers who are not married, they are still on their own with their children. Currently, the government provides a subsidy for unmarried women who are pregnant for over three months and up to two months after delivery. They can also apply for the subsidy for families in hardship, which is divided into assistance for education and medical care. Although it is not that they cannot survive, neither can they expect to fully rely on the government for help.
The contradiction between ideal worker and intensive mothering
Overall, changes in perspectives on intimacy and motherhood still cannot be completely free from the constraints of traditional social values. While society holds dual expectations for women as “ideal worker” and “intensive mother,” single mothers fit awkwardly between such roles. Government policies fail to provide proactive and timely assistance, forcing single mothers who do not have enough support from their primary family or flexible and stable jobs to face a relatively high risk of poverty.
Meanwhile, according to a 2021 report by the Department of Civil Affairs of Taipei City Government, single mothers face not only tremendous financial and caregiving pressures, but also the social stigma attached to them. Therefore, the issue of how to enable single mothers to raise their children with peace of mind and having a stable job is definitely an issue that must be carefully considered.
Also in This Issue: I Am An Unwed Mother — Yui’s Fight to Bring Sunshine to Her Life
Yui shares with us the joys and struggles of giving birth to her daughter, Tian Ching, as an unwed single mother.
Author : Evelyn Yang
Freelance writer / Graduate student in Journalism
