Reasons You Want To Quit Your Job, and What To Do Instead

Hint: Take back control and learn to influence your surroundings.

Sometimes your job just sucks and all there is left to do is find your escape route and hit the road, right?

But what if you’re actually just swirling negative ideas around in your head making things worse than they actually are?

And, what if your “escape-plan” turns out to be worse than your current position?

When you feel overwhelmed by the obstacles facing you in your job, it can be difficult to make strategic decisions.

But here’s the thing — you have more options if you stay put for now.

You can always change your mind and leave later. But as soon as you move to a new company (or end up jobless), your options diminish in a really big and scary way.

Instead of looking for a job and leaving soon, give yourself 12 weeks to make it work where you are.

If after 12 weeks things are still sucky, I’ll be there first to help you find a new gig and help you pack up your desk (okay, no. I can’t help with the desk…but it’s a nice thought, right?).

So save the packing. For the next 12 weeks, your job is to find a positive attitude, ask for what you need and how to get it, and influence your surroundings through your own behavior.

If you’re stuck on how to do this, go to Marlow. We’re happy to help (and it’s free!).

The plan.

Start with identifying what is in your “sphere of influence”. What can you control? What can’t you control?

You can control…

…how you react to other people’s actions.

…your attitude (it’s okay if you need a bit of practice on this one).

…your output.

…your communication.

…your presence, brand and personality.

…your emotions.

And the more you control the above items, the more likely you will be able to influence the behaviors of those around you.

You want to influence…

…how others perceive you.

…how others view your value on the team (both in terms of culture and overall work performance).

…how much people want to work with you.

…how much people want to advocate on your behalf.

How do you do this? By going above and beyond, clarifying expectations, asking questions and controlling your emotions.

Self-awareness will get you a long way. Patience will get you the rest of the way.

The reality is that your past will shape your near-future. Accept the fact that you can’t influence people over night. But today, you have the power to shape the long-term future. That’s more valuable anyway.

Let’s keep moving.

The moment you blame someone else is the moment you’ve given up all control. Don’t give up control.

There are many reasons for wanting to leave a job.

1. Undervalued
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Underpaid
4. Underperforming
5. Passed up for a promotion by someone else
6. Don’t vibe with the culture
7. Higher expectations than other people in your company
8. Lower expectations than other people in the company
9. Manager doesn’t support you
10. Company direction has shifted and there’s uncertainty
11. Bored or unchallenged by your responsibilities
12. You can’t see how your work is making an impact
13. Company’s future is uncertain
14. Lack of recognition for your hard work
15. Lack of mutual respect

If you think about why you want to leave, it likely comes down to something related to control. You don’t feel empowered to fix what is going on and therefore you have decided to leave.

If you did know how to fix it, you would have already done so, right? Most people aren’t trained on how to influence their environment. And some people don’t even realize it’s an option.

You’ll never have complete control over your job. But if you take responsibility for the direction of your career and make an effort to shape your daily environment, you might just find that you have more power over your career than you realized.

It won’t happen over night. Be patient.

How do you do find the power?

Identify why you want to leave and then work backward from there by asking yourself questions until you discover something you can actually control.

Let’s test this out. . .

If this were a coaching conversation, it might go something like this:

Coach: “Why do you want to leave your company?”

You: “Because they won’t give me a salary increase.”

Coach: “Why won’t they give you a salary increase?”

You: “They said no one is getting a salary increase. But I know a person who did get an increase.”

Coach: “Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?”

You: “Because I have been at the company for a year and other people are getting an increase.”

Coach: “Are there any other reasons? Have you taken on more responsibility?”

You: “Yes. I doubled my work load and my output. I’m earning more money for the company but it still doesn’t seem to be enough.”

Coach: “Do they appreciate your performance?”

You: “No.”

Coach: “How do you know? Have you asked?”

You: “No, I haven’t asked.”

Coach: “What would happen if you asked?”

Your 12 week plan might focus on:

1. Becoming more self-aware. What are your strengths and weaknesses? Does your perception of yourself and your ability align with how other people perceive you? What actions influence other people’s perceptions of you? In a positive or negative way?
2. Improve your work relationships. Even if you don’t want to. Fake it til you become it. At the very least, you will need these relationships in the future. You might as well strengthen them before you go.
3. Ask for constructive feedback. This article might help.
4. Ask your manager how you can make a bigger impact.
5. Fix problems that need fixing (even if no one asks you to). Sometimes, you don’t need to ask for permission. In fact, sometimes it’s better not to ask for permission. What’s the worst that could happen?
6. Learn as much as you possibly can about the challenges your organization is facing. It is easy to get wrapped up in our individual position and forget that there are bigger chess pieces being moved. Make it a point to understand how these fit together. You might just find your new passion.
7. Look into opportunities on other teams (but be smart about this — don’t burn bridges). Consider whether moving to a new team within your company would solve your problems. Moving to a new team has the benefit of starting something new and exciting without having to completely start over.
8. Be a cultural icon. Identify what is valued most by the members of your team and make it a conscious effort to align yourself with these values. Think outside the box. You don’t have to be a conformist to align with the company culture. Get creative!
9. Make a bigger impact. Clarify expectations and then exceed those expectations in a big way. Sometimes performing at a higher level doesn’t mean working harder…it just means working smarter. How can you make a bigger impact while working the same number of hours?
10. Set clearer boundaries. Sometimes you need to say “no”. Essentialism is an excellent book on this topic. Read it. Really.

9. When things get tough or emotional, take a break. How people perceive you matters. Even people who don’t care what other people think about them know that life is easier when you are respected by others. They don’t necessarily have to like you (though that helps, too). But respect can be the difference between whether or not they want to work with you (or for you).

Here’s the secret: You have to experiment and see what works and what doesn’t work. Continue to ask questions, get feedback and stay in control of your behavior.

Keep a journal to track your progress. If you want a tool to track your daily accomplishments, Marlow has you covered (free).

Worst case scenario: You spend 12 weeks learning how to influence your environment and then you can go look for a new job that aligns more closely with your goals.

It’s a win-win.

Are we missing something? Feel free to make suggestions.

Marlow is a career design platform helping people take control of their future a little each day by forming good career habits. You can see more at https://getmarlow.com.