The Secret Power of ‘We’

Use this mind trick to get your next job

In Argue Your Way to Success I praised the value of communication. Specifically, communication is the key to all things success. Without strong communication skills, candidates and employees cannot stand out from the crowd, they will fail to impress their potential employers, and they will ultimately miss opportunities that may lead to greater satisfaction.

What can candidates and employees do to improve their communication skills? One ‘trick’ I have found is so subtle and simple it is almost unnoticeable, but in my experience it consistently works:

During a conversation switch to using inclusive pronouns (i.e. we, us, our, and ours) to indicate inclusion in the topics being discussed.

Much of our careers and career searches are played out in a silo. My group, your company, my goals, your objectives, etc. However, effective communication is inclusive of the people you speak with.

I will use an illustration from my career. I have a significant amount of experience in Audit Services. It is an adversarial career by it’s nature. The goal is to evaluate a specific topic, identify issues, and communicate those issues to the people that created them. Not many people enjoy being told they are doing things wrong. People can be defensive, and meetings can get heated.

Let’s say I found an issue, and I am communicating the issue to the owner. Most people would say, ‘You have a real issue here.’ I am inclusive and say, ‘We have an issue with our <fill in the blank> process.’ The owner sees that I have a stake in the game. I am no longer this guy nagging about things I have no ownership over. Instead, the problem is a shared concern that I care about as well.

Below are ways this information can be used to benefit people searching for employment or improve their current career path:

Interviews

Inclusive language has the most noticeable impact during an interview with a potential employer. Often employers will ask candidates questions about their background, goals, objectives, and experience. The interview is really a conversation about how well the company and the candidate fit. The trick is to project yourself into the position you are applying for.

The easiest way to shift the conversation from exclusive to inclusive is by asking questions. Asking questions serves multiple purposes, but within the scope of this article it affords the candidate an opportunity to speak inclusively about the group they want to work with. Here is an example:

Interviewer: Do you have any questions for me?

Candidate: What are the biggest challenges facing your group this year?

Interviewer: We are being asked to do more work with less people.

Candidate: That’s a pretty common problem. Could we review our processes to see if there is an opportunity to improve our efficiency?

That last sentence may not seem like much, but it sends a powerful message to the employer. You not only want the position, you see yourself in the position. You are trying to solve problems. You are the perfect candidate. It is subliminal and magical.

Leadership

One of the most challenging parts of my career has been developing leadership skills. It is not a skill that you can work on easily without being given the opportunity to oversee other people’s work. A difficult but common situation for managers is when an employee is not meeting expectations. The conversation with the employee can be difficult.

One way to diffuse the tension is to be inclusive when having a conversation about improving performance. I do not consider this a trick at all. Employee performance is a combination of their motivation and skill set with the expectations, guidance, and direction provided by the manager. A failure to meet expectations is a failure by both parties.

By speaking inclusively with the employee, a manager communicates that they acknowledge there is a concern, they take partial ownership of fault, and that the employee is not wholly responsible for the present circumstances. Here is an example:

Manager: I just wanted to say that I notice you are not meeting with clients as much as I expect. Maybe I expectations weren’t communicated clearly when you joined the team. What do you think we can do to resolve the issue?

Employee: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know this was a problem. Anytime I am in the same building as the client, I will first try to meet with them in person. Is that was you were expecting?

Managers can solve many interpersonal issues easily by being inclusive when the situation warrants. Stress is reduced on the employees, and strong relationships can be developed. Also, improving leadership skills often leads to greater opportunities and success.

So, inject inclusive language into conversations whenever possible. It may help you nail an interview, resolve a conflict, or open a door to a new opportunity.

If you have any other tips for improving communication skills or questions on how you can use inclusive language, leave a note. You can follow me on Twitter at: @freesuccesstips