Alternatives to Heaven
It started when one of the angels got pissed off.
It was a young angel, only about 500-years-dead, named Sigmund. He heard God had sent another gay guy to hell.
“Homosexuality is a sin,” God told him in a private meeting on the matter, in this throne room in the Kingdom of God.
“But I was gay before I came to heaven,” Sigmund said, “When I lived as a mortal on Earth.”
“That’s different,” God assured, “You suppressed your homosexual impulses, led a pure life. Never once laid with another man, never expressed unholy desires. You took the noble path, fought against your dark urges.”
Sigmund left the meeting, feeling a fair amount more pissed off than before.
Rape victims barred from Heaven because they had sex outside of marriage. Babies thrown into pits of fire and brimstone because their parents never baptized them. Depressed souls fed to demons because they took their own lives, and died before God had planned.
And gay men tortured for eternity because they chose to be themselves.
God meant well, but like a senile old man behind the wheel of a car, he thought he knew best, and didn’t much care if anyone got hurt as long as he was in control.
