Kintsugi: the art of embracing imperfection
Musings on Heart Powered Human Leadership
I just ordered a DIY Kintsugi kit. Because my cat broke ANOTHER of my precious vases. My husband suggested I repair it as a Kintsugi craft project — which at first was a hard no — and yet now I find I am actually quite looking forward to the challenge. If you didn’t already know, Kintsugi means:
To join with gold.
The 15th-Century practice of kintsugi, meaning “to join with gold”, is a reminder to stay optimistic when things fall apart and to celebrate the flaws and missteps of life. The ancient Japanese philosophy that helps us accept our flaws
When I found out about the broken vase yesterday while literally lying in my sick bed, I cried out with outrage, frustration and disappointment, so loudly that my husband left the room and the cat ran away scared — although I realised if I could now sound like that I must be getting better — so there was that.
This is the third precious item — this one given to me by someone dear — that the cat has broken and it is starting to feel personal — although googling it I am assured it is not. My husband says we need to get him a cat perch thing as he just wants to be high —that may be, but right now the cat is in the dog house.
After the adrenalin settled and my heart regained the slightest sense of acceptance of reality it occurred to me to google to see if I could replace it — and then I found a different one in the same series I like just as much. I ordered it on ebay and immediately started to feel better. This got me looking at lots of pre-loved vases and I ended up ordering a second one in the same series. The first one was hand delivered today and we had a lovely exchange with the seller in person. A nice christmassy moment.
I love my new vase — and I am looking forward to my DIY project and I no longer care about the breakages. (Although I do feel the cat situation will still need addressing somehow).
In a similar vein, I was quite sick last week so I couldn’t attend a special celebratory dinner. Instead I took the chance to embrace the deep rest with no self-pity (well, minimal), just self-care. Today I feel so much better and in fact feel like I have come through a salutary ordeal, refreshed in some way; upgraded.
As the proverb goes — when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
I came across a model recently by Michael Beckwith about the Four kingdoms of Consciousness that illuminates something about this art. I had seen this for myself many years ago and it has helped guide me to equilibrium on many occasions — the model has deepened my own understanding.
It is about enabling liberation and developing your capacity to access sovereign power and wield magic in your life. It goes something like this…
- Victim Consciousness: life is happening TO you — you experience yourself as at the effect of external forces, people and things. Life is being done to you and you are reactive.
- Manifestor Consciousness: life is happening BY you — you experience that you are the creator of your experiences, you perceive everything is your teacher and is happening for your highest good. You are the doer.
- Channeler Consciousness: life is happening THROUGH you — you are tuned in and experience a flow and alignment with no resistance to what wants to come through you — success seems effortless.
- Being Consciousness: life is happening AS you — you are being as One with the Universe — acting in accordance with Divine Will, manifesting at will — as if by magic.
When I reflect on this idea of Kingdoms of Consciousness and our relationship with the happenings of life itself — the seen and the unseen — it is our resistance to both what is and our connection to the Divine that creates our limitation and our suffering; diminishing our life satisfaction. The less resistance, the more opportunity we have for alignment and flow and true connection — to ALL of what IS (you could even call it the ALLness and the ISness) — and that is when the magic happens.
If you look closely into it you will see that resistance is actually made up of thought or feeling coming from (an often innocent) closing off of the heart.
A closed heart will not bring you joy.
It is totally understandable that painful past experiences can lead us to close off. I read today of the pain and suffering of a Facebook friend and colleague:
They insulted me, belittled me, mocked me, and told me over and over again that I was the absolute lowest of the lowest who deserved to rot in hell.
My Mom and Dad. The man and woman who were supposed to teach me life’s values and healthy beliefs, who were supposed to show me what trust and integrity and abundance and kindness and love actually mean, and how a solid romantic relationship works.
I learned from the saddest, the loneliest, the most jealous, the least adult, the most unreliable, the least trustworthy, the angriest, and the most insecure.
I’m telling it so I can finally acknowledge it for the absolute disaster that it was, and start to understand why I am so messed up in so many ways.
He is choosing to share this now publically because he has been glossing over it and he is now ready to bring the broken pieces into the light. I sense it is the beginning of an inner Kintsugi journey for him. Leading to healing and true empowerment; and as I know from my own past personal experience — our wounds bleed gold. In fact if we let them, they can break our hearts open and take us all the way Home.
In the end — it is up to us to decide — when we can let things break, we can also find the gold.
In a world where things can often look broken our capacity to meet them with consciousness is THE key attribute of true leadership.
I find when we can genuinely let go of the idea of perfect and embrace what is — we can always find the silver (gold) lining; and it really can shine - even to the point where it looks perfect as it is.
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