Poor Man’s Time Machine IV: The Restoration
So in the previous post — The Poor Man’s Time Machine Part III : The Cleanup I had managed to find a large number of posts made by the absolute knuckle dragging nincompoops who run the Illuminati Ganga Twitter feed, which allowed me to reconstitute a significant amount of the origin Post The Poor Man’s Time Machine which had unfortunately been corrupted by a Thomkorlian cascade. By the way, aforementioned nincompoops, that’s me dropping science — something you know nothing about!
Anyway I happened to notice something important in the cleanup:
This is so exciting! That kriske in the Temporal Narratologic Stream is a glimpse into the reality collapse starting — it literally wiped out part of the logs text right then as the tweet was being made — the part that starts with ‘means that the major phenomena’ in the previous tweet and continues on to the end of the tweet. That is all gone, obliterated! The data this represents may allow us to decrypt the information stored in visual residue of the reality collapse.
And it turns out I was right, I could decrypt the information stored in the visual residue using a Machine Learning Algorithm trained on the dying monologue of Dutch Schultz one of the greatest time-jumping crime geniuses. I got the idea because of a monitor I had placed on the original Poor Man’s Time Machine established that while the page may appear static on any single viewing there are after-effects to a cascade of such an extreme character, and it is causing small alterations in the seemingly incoherent garbage that remains of the original log.
Recently I saw the following bits in the word stream:
∇∇∇∇∇∇∇∇∇∇∇∇The Ayhua if you look at it closely becomes a mass of things locking on each other but from far off is one indissoluble entity∇∇∇∇∇∇∇∇
aw shit, I knew that, then an hour later
Ayhuahuasca wishes to unify to increase individual success. . .by unification each element may achieve goals with greater efficiency + peace.∇
yeah right, bastard was pissing me off now.
Finally —
a grid of purple + scarlet electrified rails suspended in air as a peeled grape is suspended in Jell-O
Well, anyway, as a lot of people who follow the psychonautic journals and have read The Vaults of Fug know, some millions of years ago a dimension hopping monstrosity - something of a cross between a fungus, a sentient asteroid, and a extrasensory octopus — crashed into an area deep into the Amazon and from then on assiduously used its psychic powers to take control of humanity — ostensibly because it needed ‘help’. Anyway this is all detailed in a log of an IG encounter by a couple field Agents (and their drunken American river boat captain companion) in the aforementioned Vaults of Fug entitled simply ‘Adventure’ — which OK, if that was what you consider an Adventure who am I to sneer at your disarming lack of wide experience.
So, obviously the cascade that is still slowly unwinding was picking up some of these messages, cool enough, but then it picked up something else:
There are only ten of us and there ten million fighting somewhere of you, so get your onions up and we will throw up the truce flag
Dutch Schultz, his deathbed connection and transmission of the Ayhua’s messages for humanity, and that’s when I knew I could unscramble the burnt out remnants of my previous log!
Enough preamble, men of action like myself like to get to the point, the reconstituted original log of the Poor Man’s Time Machine follows:
My baby, she’s not much but is a fully working chronocraft with minimal shielding against temporal disturbances.
I’m pretty sure I know what happened — extrapolating some here due to reality alterations but my theory goes something like this:
There was a confirmed report of a mass grave. I let anger get the better of me and used my time machine go back in time and kill the serial killer that has been killing kids over the last twenty years (give or take a bit).
I can guess all this because I have a pretty physically fit, tanned dead guy, curled up in my time machine at the moment wearing a nearly pristine condition Nirvana first tour t-shirt and a cowboy hat with a neat little bullet hole from a 22 in the back of his head. I use a 22 for close up shooting.
The Chewing tobacco stains under his fingernails comes from Stoker’s chewing tobacco, makes me think Texas.
He’s not Gibby Haynes, so I’m guessing unidentified serial killer.
As for why I might want to kill Gibby Haynes, hey Gibby, remember that 20 bucks you owe me!
Of course all this is guess work, I don’t remember meaning the time cascade has already hit this area and started affecting reality.
Probably also in Texas as I understand the reports were first confirmed and then denied.
That would be explainable by Thomkorl’s theory of the maintenance of Reality (and before anyone comes with ‘but that’s just a theory!’, trust me, it’s not — Thomkorl’s theory is the best possible explanation we have for observable phenomena involved in time travel and paradoxicality)
So what is going on is the time cascade is hitting here and Texas. Probably this has been going on for a while. I remember sleeping a full 8 hours last night but I have a hell of a headache, I’ve probably been back and forth killing this guy for at least a day, and then not having a reason to kill so not killing him, and then having a reason and killing him.
Man, time travel is some wicked shit!
Anyway Thomkorl’s theory means that the major phenomena related to the temporal paradox will be cleaned up first, with other paradoxes cleaned later in cascades (as soon as something happens to break the loop)
That’s why the report switches between confirmed and denied, probably it will take weeks for the report to have never happened at all.
And of course this post on Medium will keep existing, with only slight changes to the original post, being quite removed from the two main geographical locations of the paradox — the ranch in Texas, and my basement.
That’s why I posted this on Medium, their servers will keep it up and sheltered from major temporal dislocations far longer than all that tracking laden garbage they serve over at Instagram.
If this ‘story’ is still remaining in a month. We have a problem, a long running paradox like that can start to threaten wider swathes of existence.
I am going to have to ask one of you to find me, and kill me. I would do it myself, but already being in a paradox that would probably just revert to me alive, going and killing the serial killer and so forth. Then there would be two paradoxes on top of each other, and reality would unravel even quicker. The trick is that if you come from far enough away — I suppose somewhere in New England would be good, or anywhere in Asia — then it would take a long time for the reality cascade to clean up your actions and reasons for coming to kill me. Given that a large paradox was averted it is likely that I would still be dead and you would still have killed me, although the reasons for it would have disappeared.
I’m willing to die to save reality, even if I never even get a decent statue out of my sacrifice. At least clap for my story so I know someone cares.
Luckily there is no capital punishment here so you will probably end up in Prison for no more than 20 years, and depending on how the cascade affects your mental processes maybe in a nice asylum.
It’s a steep price to pay for sure, but we are talking about saving most of reality as we now know it. But hopefully it won’t be necessary — just if this story remains up for a month.
Finally, if you are familiar with Thomkorl’s theory you will know that you will have to go through my records to deduce my current whereabouts, I can’t give you geographical location as that increases the chances of a tight coupling between the geographical location of the server where this thread is hosted and the coming cascades — already coupled with texas location, and then I add my location? This thread would get deleted for sure in the next cascade!
Sorry if this story was not the best written, I had to write fast in order to get it out before the next cascade. No time to edit. Get it? Hah, no time to edit!
Please note that some light editing of the Machine learning generated reconstitution of the earlier log was done, for example references to a Colonel Peabody Von Schnomps was removed I don’t know anybody by that unlikely name. Grammatical and spelling errors were left intact, so in the case that the machine learning algorithm has generated these I apologize that the state of the art is not yet perfect, and in the case that I actually made these errors in the original log I apologize but note I was obviously somewhat under stress, and should be forgiven a few mistakes.
OK I am going to leave up the earlier log that has now been corrupted so that people can look at it as needed.
This important scientific log was posted by IG Agent 99, mess with it at your peril.
Note from IG Agent 86 — I have added the following related articles.
