Personal Development
Do You Feel Like You’re In Over Your Head?
3 Tips to help you succeed when you feel overwhelmed
“Make sure you have 18 grams in the basket, tamp with 30 pounds of pressure, pull the shot for 27 seconds, or stop when the liquid appears consistently gold in color.”
I was completely lost but still trying to scribble notes as quickly as I could. Day one of a new adventure was off to a rocky start. Tuesday was my last day at a very stable, enjoyable job. Here I was on Wednesday, questioning my sanity. What had I done?
It started almost a year earlier. An old college professor of mine, Steve, had a crazy idea to launch a non-profit coffee shop. The more he talked about it, the more excited I became. “I love drinking coffee and I want to make a difference in people’s lives,” I thought to myself. How hard could it possibly be?
Steve is a charismatic, visionary leader. He could sell ice to the people of Arendelle in the middle of Elsa’s frozen winter. He sold me on the idea of creating a coffee shop where people could have meaningful conversations and the proceeds would benefit local charities. I had rose-colored visions of cheerful baristas serving beautiful lattes to grateful customers.
Those rose-colored glasses didn’t survive my first day on the job. I had jumped into the deep end only to realize I didn’t know how to swim.
We had two weeks before our grand opening to learn how to make coffee. 18 grams, 30 pounds of pressure, 27 seconds. Steam the milk until the pitcher is too hot to touch. Wait, how hot is that? I need numbers, not vague pain tolerance scales.
You would think that hiring a team of semi-trained baristas would be a smart move when opening a coffee shop, especially when the owner (Steve) and general manager (me) had no prior coffee experience. You would be right. But we didn’t do that. We hired people who shared a passion for the vision. We would rather stumble through making coffee together as long as we were all excited about the same goal.
Excitement and shared vision only get you so far, though. When it comes down to it, if you run a coffee shop, you need to know how to make coffee. Unfortunately, I had no idea how to do that. If that was the end of my problems, I could have handled it. It wasn’t. In addition to being my first time behind an espresso machine, it was also my first time leading a team of employees. I went from minding my own business as a worker on Tuesday to managing a team of 12 people on Wednesday.
I was completely overwhelmed. I had no idea how to make coffee, and I had no idea how to lead a team.
It gets worse. Each of these 12 people had risked their livelihoods to join this adventure. They were expecting me to lead them through the unknown and provide meaningful work as well as regular paychecks. My own family at home was expecting a regular paycheck, too. I owed it to all of us to succeed. I just didn’t know where to begin.
This pandemic we’re in has overwhelmed many of us. We went from stable, content employment with a fair amount of certainty into completely uncharted waters. This can be scary. You feel overwhelmed and you’re tired of the uncertainty. You just want to know what to do next.
When you’re in over your head, you can either let yourself sink or learn how to swim
The stakes were high at the coffee shop. Success would mean a steady income and the potential to impact people’s lives. Failure would lead to missed paychecks and missed opportunities.
I needed help.
That single realization changed the course of my experience. I knew I couldn’t succeed on my own, but I also knew I wasn’t going to quit. Reflecting on this period of my life, I realized there were a few things that helped me get through it.
Believe in yourself
The steps I took toward development would have been pointless if I didn’t believe I could grow. Even amid overwhelming uncertainty and nerves, I still believed in myself.
Your mindset is a powerful thing. When you believe that your intelligence can grow and your skills can develop, you actually do improve! You’ll never learn to swim if you believe you’re destined to sink. You’ll never become a better leader if you’re convinced you can’t do it.
Ask for help
Believing in yourself sets you on the right trajectory, but it won’t magically change your circumstances. Sometimes, you need to ask for help.
A dose of humility can do wonders. The first step to finding an answer is admitting you don’t already have it. Asking for help puts you in a position to learn from others who have more experience than you do.
At the coffee shop, I decided to seek help from other coffee shop owners. I swallowed my pride and made a few calls to local shops. Within days, I had meetings scheduled to learn from their expertise. I’m convinced that seeking help from them set me up for success. It saved me from making needless mistakes and gave me some valuable insight I didn’t know I needed.
It might take some cold calls or searches through contact pages to find an email address, but find someone in your field and reach out to her. Many people are decent human beings eager and willing to help others. You just need to ask.
Never stop learning
Believing in yourself and asking for help is enough to give you some confidence and stability when you feel overwhelmed, but they won’t drive you to success.
Learning from other coffee shop managers gave me some foundational skills to train my staff and make decent drinks. Those conversations were valuable, but they weren’t enough. My family’s well-being was on the line. If this venture failed, we’d be struggling.
Standing behind the counter at 5:30 am on the morning of our Grand Opening reminded me how much I still needed to learn. Despite the progress during my two weeks of training, failure still loomed on the horizon. As the sun rose that morning, I made a commitment to myself. I would never stop learning.
Each new book I read or online course I watched gave me another step to take in the right direction. Every new kernel of wisdom I could apply gave me a little boost in confidence. Learning how to lead a team and learning more than I ever wanted to know about coffee instilled in me a determination to succeed, which gradually translated to success for the coffee shop.
When you feel overwhelmed, success starts with believing in yourself. Then ask for help. Finally, whether you failed to finish high school or have multiple advanced degrees, decide that you will never stop learning.
