Being myself: A journey of self-acceptance
“I don’t have a Netflix account,” I recently told a friend.
While I was expecting a couple of questions from them, what I met with was acceptance. Even after that, I went on to give them an explanation of why I don’t have the account. This was probably the first time my declaration was not looked down or joked about. Not that people pulling me down for not watching some of the best content out there has prompted me to get an account.
For years, I have tried to fit in — fit into the popular trends and culture. I’ve tried to listen to English songs and I’ve tried to be regular on social media, but none of them has worked out for me. I’ve tried to watch standup comedies, I’ve tried to watch web series, I’ve tried to follow influencers, but I’m no regular.
Every time I try to imitate people of my generation, I feel a repulsive force telling me to go back and do what I actually want to do.
I see myself as someone who doesn’t understand the ways of the world. I am a simple person who likes to stay by myself.
That doesn’t mean I don’t have friends. I don’t have a huge group of friends, just a couple of them. The friendships I share aren’t defined by the score of Snapchat streaks I have with people. (I uninstalled the app after being a passive user for about a week. Yes, I’m wondering why I didn’t delete it sooner.) Instead, they are defined by the depth of conversations I have with people.
I don’t like the parties most people enjoy going to. My parties are simpler. They are quiet. I am put off by noise. I feel lost when I try to be a part of a shouting crowd.
Over the years, my family and friends have tried to assure me that it’s a good idea to socialise with people at functions, parties, concerts, etc. But THEIR good idea has never resonated with me. I have come to terms with it but I’m still making some of them understand that it’s not my way of enjoying.
It took me time to accept my nature and when I did, I saw people accept me for who I am.
I may be different but I’m not the odd one out.
I don’t want to be someone else.
I don’t want to be like someone else.
I am choosing myself and not waiting to be chosen.
I am happy to be who I am.
I love myself.
I can’t stop loving myself a little more every day.
I am grateful I can be my real self.
