Adhivāsanā: Day Zero — Uncertainty
I woke up much too late with too little time to accomplish everything I ‘needed’ to finish before going offline. I prioritized tiny essential errands before going to pick up Justine. We had a too-long goodbye with Sachin (he was like a misty-eyed parent sending his kids off to summer camp) and plastered fake smiles on our faces, trying to quell the alarm bells that rang inside.
The drive was pleasant — we discussed art and our respective practices while taking in the placid beauty of the prairies.
Arriving onsite was deceptively mellow. We parted ways and I signed in with the male manager, Justen. I surrendered my car keys and smartphone — my first step into isolation — then took in my quarters.
Accommodation was simple — a too-short, smaller-than-twin mattress, an end table and a doorless locker in a small cell I shared with another meditator, a Silicon Valley techie I’d come to know as Faraaz. I set up my bed and immediately took a short nap.
I experienced a lucid daydream where an older gentleman with gnomish features walked me through a garden, telling me “Don’t worry — it’ll go by quickly.”
I awoke in a daze to the peals of a bell — a sound I’d come to both welcome and dread. I walked into the dhamma hall — a cross between a cozy basement and a monastery — where we’d be doing most of our meditating.
We opened the practice up, met our teacher, and went to bed. Reality hadn’t quite set in yet. I was sound asleep before 10pm.
