Four Simple Things That Often Cause Us to Give Up On Our Goals
#4. You lack the right support network.
You get off to a flying start. You can feel the infectious energy of the crowd cheering you on as you cross the 20-meter line.
It’s now time to jump that the first hurdle. Except just as you’re about to do so, a wasp whizzes past, touching the rim of your nose. You’ve lost focus. You slip and crash into the wooden frame. You realize you’ve grazed your knee while your competition, well, they’re on their way to cross the 50-meter line.
So you lost the race. But the championship isn’t over. Except, you decide, maybe it’s time to hang your boots up forever. All because you had one bad race.
Starting a race is easy. Quitting a race is even easier. Continuing the race, well, that’s the hard part.
That’s the part most people struggle with. Here are a few reasons why this might be the case, and what you can do to unleash your hidden greatness once and for all.
1. You’re Trying to Run Before You Can Walk
There’s an old Chinese proverb that reads,
“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backwards.”
In other words, the chances of success are far greater when you’re patient enough to take small, meaningful steps, rather than putting everything on the line with one giant leap.
It’s like trying to lose 50 pounds all in one go, probably by starving yourself for 18 hours a day. Eventually, you’ll cave. Instead, aim to shed a few pounds every week. Focus on sustainable, not speedy progress.
And by the way, this is not to say that you shouldn’t have “Big Hairy Audacious Goals”, or BHAGs for short. It’s simply that you should keep them at the back of your mind, not at the very front.
2. You Quit Just One Second Too Early
When you don’t see immediate results, you’re prone to throwing in the towel. Except, you fail to realize that you’re actually building up towards your inflection point, i.e. the moment you suddenly breakthrough into a new league of greatness.
James Clear describes this concept wonderfully in his bestseller, ‘Atomic Habits’. Here, he explains how an ice cube, placed in a room that is twenty-six degrees Fahrenheit, will remain an ice cube even if you increase the temperature by a mere one-degree.
But do this repeatedly, and you’ll eventually reach thirty-two degrees, that is, the temperature at which ice will begin to melt. Going from thirty to thirty-one degrees had no noticeable impact. But going from thirty-one to thirty-two degrees did.
“A one-degree shift, seemingly no different from the temperature increases before it, has unlocked a huge change.”
Remember this analogy whenever you’re on the brink of quitting. Remind yourself, that at any given time, you could be one step, one race away from you’re inflection point.
3. You Haven’t Spent Time Peeling the Onion of Reasoning
Trying to stay motivated without knowing why you should be motivated in the first place is like heading into a war-zone and forgetting to wear any protective gear.
“Why” you set out to do something should be the main tool in your arsenal, a means to defend yourself when chaos emerges. Friedrich Nietzsche said it best,
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
If building your savings is your goal for this year, be sure about why this is so important to you. It won’t just be about building a safety net. More likely, it’s the fact that you’re worried about losing your job next year, and the financial implications this might have for you and your family. Remember this the next time you find yourself splashing out on your sixth margarita at TJI Friday’s.
And so, before you commence any new venture, take a moment to peel your layers of reasoning until you’re crystal clear on what it is that’ll see you through the toughest of times.
4. You Lack a Support Network (Or You’re in the Wrong One)
The power of surrounding yourself with the right group of people is immensely overlooked. Think of how young athletes become experts in their field. They train with those who are just as good, if not better than them.
I mean, do you really think it was a mere coincidence that in 2010, all 3 finalists for football’s most coveted prize, the Ballon D’or, began their careers together at FC Barcelona’s youth academy, La Masia.
I think not.
Xavi, Iniesta, and Messi spent years training together. From an early age, they practiced the art of growing as a collective unit. They found time to share their love for the game. They held themselves accountable to each other, especially on the days they decided not to show up.
Trying to achieve greatness when you’re in the wrong environment is like trying to become a hockey player by practicing on a basketball court. It just doesn’t happen.
Get the right people on your side, and you’ll find ways to keep going. It’s as simple as that.
A Quick Recap
Most of us try our hands at something new, only to give up way too early. With the awareness of why we often fall victim to this tendency, we can avoid doing so, and go on to unleash our true potential.
Here are a few techniques to bear in mind:
- Take small steps that guarantee success rather than great leaps that risk failure.
- Never forget, at any moment in time, you might just be one step away from your inflection point.
- Knowing your “why” will be your most powerful tool to see you through to the end.
- Surround yourself with the right support network. It’s a sure-fire way to go on and achieve great things.
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