The Ghosts That Haunt Us
Halloween is just around the corner and for many it is a jarring and unpleasant day that is dreaded starting on the first day of October.
As a therapist I am very aware of how triggering this can be for people and I have felt triggered myself due to traumatic events which can not really be connected to ghosts and ghowls. The aftereffects of trauma don’t always make sense.
This is a strange holiday celebration that has things popping up and out. The spooky startling sounds and sights can be a jolt to a nervous system that is easily activated.
The real ghosts for many are the things in the past that still haunt and return in the form of memories, dreams or flashbacks.
The trauma of the past can feel very real and very disturbing.
If this is something you struggle with here are a few strategies to get through Halloween.
The best thing to do if this day is upsetting is to admit it to yourself. We can avoid such dates altogether and we can make alternative plans.
If you are struggling with PTSD or post trauma events even the kids in costume that come to the door can even be disturbing and startling . We don’t have to ditch the date completely if you don’t want to and if you do that is absolutely ok.
If you are thinking you want to participate by giving goodies, to be a good neighbor or you want your kids to experience the trick or treat fun you can make arrangements with some preparation for the night.
If you decide this is the best option for your kids you can take the night off from cooking and order in. Having a family member or older teen take your littles ones followed by cocoa in reviewing the goodies after the event can be a great compromise.
Leaving treats on the step is a great option with a sign and then settling in for the night with a funny show. If you have kids it is up to you whether you celebrate. Their lives and childhood will not be ruined from missing Halloween. Another alternative is having a family member or friend take them out and a family treat review when they get back home.
Some people will take a day off on triggering holidays or hit the road for a scenic highway drive. A change of scenery can be a breathe of fresh air. There is no right or wrong way to celebrate and you are the most important person.
Another great option is displaying positive pictures images and objects that make us happy which can be great ways to distract. Getting some flowers or having a soothing bath is sure to help take the edge.
Using a mantra, meditation or positive affirmations can help us focus on the present moment which is grounding in the now.
The ghosts that haunt us are often the real traumas of the past or the generational traumas that are passed from one family member to another.
Halloween 101 survival is your own guide that you create. Remember you can do whatever feels right for you and your family. Create some new rituals and memories and feel safe this Halloween night. Skipping everything that goes bump in the night is taking care of you and what you need right now.
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