The Stories That Are Difficult to Write Transform Us
“When will you be finished your book?”
I am asked more times than I can count, and my internal response is when I write the grief all out of me.
This of course is not an answer I provide to curious friends or readers. It may come off as rude, I realize. My response to grief inquiries hasn’t always been kind.
Difficult pieces are often the ones that hit home and that make us dig deep exploring our own inner suffering and work.
I have been digging deep, sigh, yes if you call writing almost daily “digging deep”. I often have to take a pause and I will take on other projects. These are usually creative in nature and give me spurts of joy and encouragement from the engagement with others.
I have been writing about grief, trauma and healing for the past seven years. This started twenty some years ago with tiny bursts of creative work that I returned to read again and again as if it was some medicine.
If I am honest, writing is medicinal and cathartic and yet it can be so engrossing that I lose myself. This book that I need to write may pull me deep into unknown territory. I fear that life as I know it may never be the same.
This is the type of writing that you need to surrender to. I am ready to return after taking a few months break and the passing of death anniversaries. I am ready to surrender and let myself fall deep.
To answer the question regarding when I will finish or stop writing about grief my answer is this: “never”. I will never stop. I believe that grief and loss is a universal expression of love that everyone experiences. We need more material so that everyone has something that they can read for comfort, support and healing.
Grief is unique for everyone.
The difficult pieces that we write help us heal and integrate.
My articles, talks, poetry, music and this book I am trying to write are all the flowers that I offer in memory and love.
Tomorrow, I return to writing about grief, and I will allow breaks for laughter, love and fun. I will take my time and relax and lean into it.
Tomorrow is a new start. This is what we can say while grieving and mourning. Each day we begin again and come back to our breath, inhaling and exhaling, reminding us that we are here. We are here even though our grief lives on.
Stay tuned there is always more to come.
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