What Is the Difference Between Wants And Needs?
And why understanding this distinction can be a game-changer
Have you ever wondered what is the difference between wants and needs? In this article I will explore why understanding this distinction can be a game-changer in your journey towards lasting happiness.
Let’s dive into it.
The Difference Between Wants and Needs
Emotional needs are the driving forces behind our emotions, wants and desires. Despite our unique personalities and backgrounds, we all share fundamental emotional needs that drive our feelings and behaviour.
Wants are the specific ways in which we hope to have our needs met, while emotional needs are what we are trying to fulfil by having those desires.
For example: Going on holiday may be a way (a want) I am trying to fulfil my needs for fun and relaxation.
Similarly, wanting to help someone achieve something could be a way to fulfil my needs for impact and connection.
On the other hand, wanting to buy an expensive item of clothing might be coming from unmet needs for appreciation or autonomy.
Ultimately, our desires will take the shape that we believe will most likely lead us to how we want to feel (loved, appreciated, secure, in control, relaxed, etc).
jornee’s Emotional Needs Framework
After two decades of studying and practicing mindfulness, Yoga, and self-discovery practices from various traditions and schools of thought, I’ve developed a unique framework for identifying and meeting emotional needs.
Here are the eight core emotional needs:
🛡️ Safety: The need to feel safe within yourself and your relationships.
💞 Connection: To feel connected to others, to yourself, and to something greater than you.
🎁 Appreciation: To feel valued exactly as you are, no matter what.
✊ Autonomy: To feel you have control over your own decisions and actions.
❤️ Impact: To feel like what you do matters to other people and the world.
🧭 Variety: To explore, learn, and experience new things about the world and yourself.
🎨 Fun: To feel care-free, silly, and do things for the sake of pure enjoyment.
🌙 Rest: To slow down and let go of what is not fundamentally yours.
These eight emotional needs are present in all of us, but the way in which we seek to fulfil them can differ in many ways.
Here are a few more examples of how our unmet emotional needs can manifest as wants and desires:
Want: The desire for a a romantic partner
Need: 💞 Connection and intimacy
Desired feeling: Feeling loved and desired
Want: A promotion at work
Need: 🎁 Appreciation
Desired feeling: Feeling valued and respected
Want: Flexible working hours
Need: ✊ Autonomy
Desired feeling: Feeling in control of your choices
Want: To have quiet time for yourself and the things you enjoy
Need: 🌙 Rest
Desired feeling: Emotional distance between you and your responsibilities
Learning to identify your unmet emotional needs is a key skill if you want to learn to be in charge of your emotions and desires.
The jornee app was designed to help you develop this skill.
By identifying and addressing our unmet emotional needs, we can cultivate happiness through emotional balance and well-being.
🚀 The app is expected to launch by the end of the month, and you can sign up for the waitlist here.
📚 In the meantime, you can read about jornee’s blueprint in my book Freedom Through Feelings: Reconnecting With Yourself Through Your Emotional Needs.
Click here to download a free sample, or get the full eBook by clicking here.
Hi! I’m Daniela, founder of the jornee app, an app that empowers you to heal old emotional wounds by learning to become aware of your unmet emotional needs. You can sign up for early access here.
If you want to learn more about emotional freedom, jornee and our mission, consider signing up for jornee or following us on social media to stay in touch.
Thanks for reading! If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, remember to follow the publication (and clap/comment too!). Want to write for Mindful Mental Health? Please check out our submission guidelines and ask to be added as a writer in the comments of that post.
