“Drama Queen” and 3 More Not-So-Subtle Insults, Used To Silence Women

Let’s put an end to them.

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My abusive ex was the queen of calling me “drama queen” anytime I had an opinion that differed from his.

“Drama queen!” He would call me, privately and in public.

It felt so embarrassing to me but more than anything, it was effective in getting me to shut up. I would step back from volunteering an opinion. A lot of times, had we gone my route, it would have been the smarter choice. Had I not seen this over and again, that man would have made me believe that I was not smart at all.

“Is she angry about that?” He would ask his friends, if I reacted over something wrong he did, “Don’t worry. She is just DRAMA. Drama queen!”

It took me a while but I eventually did see it — he was the queen of drama. He thrived on it. Calling me a drama queen was his own projection and way of hiding his own flaws.

Listen, are they your partner or your child? There is a difference in that relationship. You don’t talk down to your partner. You don’t talk down to your colleague. You don’t talk down to a peer. You shouldn’t but if you really cannot help yourself, you can talk down on a child.

What you should not do is call a woman, a drama queen because you are desperate to shut her down and ‘win’.

You are not subtle. You are not original.

-You are so sensitive.

Really boo, am I? Am I so sensitive over being called an idiot by my partner or are you just being rude and insulting? There is a big line there.

I was shocked when I started to look at relationship dynamics outside of my immediate environment and started to see that one does not have the autonomy to just insult their partner either because they have a dick or because they earn more. It was eye-opening.

Except “you are so sensitive” is said because a woman’s skin tears easily. I can almost bet that someone is trying to shut her up.

How many times have you had the urge to say, “You are so sensitive” to a woman?

Personally, I cannot remember ever saying this to anyone — male or female. Yet, many men have said it to many women. Exactly why is this?

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You are overreacting. It is just a joke.

“It is just a joke” is the clarion call of assholes everywhere.

If a joke is funny, everyone should be laughing. There are no ifs and buts about it. If something you said came out wrong, take responsibility- first. If your partner is hurt by your behaviour, watch your attitude.

When someone you care about is hurt by what you have said, and your first instinct is to open your mouth and go:

You are overreacting or you cannot take a joke?

Dude, you need to learn to keep quiet.

It is telling that women are often on the receiving end of “you are overreacting?”

Really, who showed you the door into her emotions since you seem oblivious to the damage your words create?

Finally,

You are so emotional.

Are you on your period?

Asks a shameless folk and not because they want to buy you some chocolates and tampons but because you have strongly voiced an opinion they disagree with.

I grew up in Africa, and all my life men are the ones who scream their heads off, frothing at the mouths and dripping sweats in buckets when trying to get their way. Women are trained to be demure.

Yet, women are the emotional ones. Make it make sense.

What does my period have to do with anything?

She is pregnant. She is just hormonal.

What a stupid thing to say rather than, “I am sorry” for your own actions.

I hope more women recognize these cheap, not-so-subtle tricks to get them to shut up and begin to shut them down.

This is how we stand up for ourselves.

Thank you for reading. Did I miss any? Do let me know!