What Does It Mean to Reparent Myself?
Things I’ve been practicing to create a better version of myself
We all have 2 chances to change our lives.
One is the family we were born into. We’ve got no choice in that and it decides how we grow up and teaches us the basic mindset and values that support us to adapt to where we grew up.
The other is on us. This is a chance we have to steer the wheel and reinvent our lives.
The journey can be exciting and draining at the same time.
Be the Change and Let Go
To change means accepting uncertainty, which usually exposes us to potential gains and risks we cannot foresee.
But when I realized that I didn’t want the reality I was in anymore, the leap of faith was inevitable.
Embracing the change seemed to be the right thing for me to do when I hit the wall.
The difficult part of doing this is to be aware of the tendency of holding on to the known, aka the past. We cling tightly to those things/people who don't serve us anymore because they’re familiar, even if they could cause us pain and trauma.
Only after I intentionally observed myself while making choices and expressing opinions could I be able to tell when and how I decided to stay in my comfort zone.
The tangible way of getting started would be observing yourself when making decisions. Making conscious choices can lay the groundwork so that you can then decide whether to stay on the same track or risk a little bit with intention.
Live with Intention, Create Like a Curator
When you see changes coming, letting it happen is a good start, meaning you are letting go of resistance.
But life is not just about letting things happen, life is here for us to experience and create.
When I was still unconsciously living my life, I was like the wave in the ocean: Sometimes I went high by the wind, and sometimes I hit the rock real hard.
We are creators living through our bodies and flesh. It’d be such a pity to lay back and let life take us to wherever it leads us.
Taking control of life is no manipulation, it is an awareness telling us to go deep within and ask what we truly want for our life.
No one will be here to save us.
No one will be here to answer those questions for us.
No one can but self.
If you want to know more about the exact hows, I Quit Autopiloting My Life will help.
Set Boundaries to Protect Myself
Once before, I had no respect for myself and my time. I was hurting myself and I thought that would buy me some good karma.
So when people showed disrespect and ignorance for their good at the cost of my dignity, I let them.
Oh, how altruistic I was.
I was making a fool of myself and I was the enabler.
I should but I had no idea of personal boundaries back then.
Now I learned enough painful lessons to step up for myself and set boundaries when necessary.
This is not like marking the territory and making announcements formally to whoever I encounter. Setting boundaries involves detailed daily practices like the way people should/shouldn’t treat me, my daily routine (such as when I eat and sleep) that cannot be compromised, what I can do for my mental and physical well-being always comes first before I care for others.
This is about prioritizing what goes on the top of the list.
Now it has become obvious when I set my boundaries clear, others have no option but to respect that because I will always make sure my boundaries are secured no matter what.
Unconditional Support and Love, Always
“Taste the pain before life gives you sweets.” This is what I was taught as a kid.
Born as an Asian girl, I know how it feels to experience tough love.
Now as a grown individual, I admit that it requires extra work to go easy on myself.
As I mentioned just now, you’re on your own on this creative journey called life. The momentum of marching forward is surely courageous, but don’t forget to pause for a while and see how far you’ve come.
How can you love yourself if you always seek love from the outside? How can you expect others to respect you when you don’t respect yourself?
Celebrate every small win along the journey.
Savor the progress no matter how trivial it seems.
Give yourself a high five in the mirror every day.
Give yourself the unconditional love no matter how shitty your day was.
This is something no one can take away from you. This is the source of your courage, your resilience, your power.
Final Thoughts
Reparenting myself means to first unlearn then learn.
Reparenting myself means that I am the one who takes responsibility for my decisions.
Reparenting myself is the start of a journey full of authenticity and creativity.
It is a chance of rebirth. Use it well to your advantage!
Have faith and be gentle with yourself.
Start small and start now.
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