Moral Harassment Techniques for Victims’ Awareness: Endangering
To understand why destructive personalities like to endanger people, you should bear in mind the fact that they are sadists. A sane person finds torture disgusting and unacceptable. Sadists like torture; it fuels them. Putting someone into a bad situation, they expect complaints and anger. The victim’s emotions help them feel superior. They enjoy these moments of full control over the victim. Very often, they create a situation of torture to play a good old friend who came to say a couple of supportive words to you. This helps them witness how you struggle amidst your trouble while they are staying safe. They will never help you because they feel sexual arousal when you are in despair. Your miserability pleases them.
What forms a sadistic personality? Controlling and superior mothers torturing their kids, asking them for impossible achievements, comparing them to others create prerequisites for sadistic perversions. For a sadist, making others feel miserable becomes a replacement for healthy sexual aggression that people easily express and forget. Whenever you feel fear, cry, or panic because of uncertainty, a sadist enjoys it. They like to possess the power to decide how you will feel today. It becomes dangerous as many of them dream about killing people as the maximum expression of their superiority. As murder is socially unacceptable and leads to punishment, a sadist will endanger you in multiple ways.
Disclaimer. This blog post is written by a former victim, not a psychology genius.
Endangering: How Does It All Start?
This world could have been a much safer place if they told you explicitly: “Dear, I’m a sadist, let’s play some games in the bedroom; I like it that way”. This ‘deal with it’ approach is more honest than what most sadistic personalities do in reality. They create situations of loss, incompetence, uncertainty. You will be let down, betrayed, and tricked in multiple ways.
However, it will not happen at the start. Moreover, a sadist will create a fairy tale around you to get you trapped and fallen for them. You will trust this person more than yourself. You will rely completely on their support, resources, and help in case of emergency. For a change, sadists like to play honeymoon princes and princesses for their new partners establishing total control over the new victim’s feelings. At work, they will play generous mentors, experts in everything, business trendsetters. However, they find these vanilla images boring and wear these masks to attract stupid victims in the very beginning. And then, step by step, they switch to what they really want and enjoy. Torture.
Endangering: What It Looks Like?
They will gain full control over your financials one way or the other. They will want to be your only employer if it’s the ‘boss and worker’ relationship. If you are dating a sadist, they will want you to quit your job. Alternatively, you might become their working horse bringing them money, and they will decide which part of your salary you are allowed to spend. Be sure: it will be the smaller part, and your bank account will remain empty.
They will try to destroy your health with zero ability to restore it. Toxic personalities are called toxic for a reason. Your body reacts to them by producing more adrenaline than ever. In most cases, people think ‘wow, they make my heart beat faster, so they are attractive’. In fact, they are just dangerous, and your body wants to warn you against them. If your relationship lasts, you will have the hormone of stress in your blood for long months or even years, exhausting you ahead of time. You will leave this relationship looking much older. That’s the hidden part of the iceberg: being exposed to stress, people start having cancer, develop alcohol and drug addictions.
Another scary thing: they will be putting you into dangerous circumstances deliberately. Toxic bosses at work will overload you, providing no medical insurance, giving impossible tasks, and setting unrealistic deadlines. Toxic spouses will blame you for their love affairs and neglect their household duties, making you do everything. Watch out for travel, extreme adventures, or other unfamiliar circumstances — destructive personalities like to see people helpless and dependent on them. While your body is struggling with an unusual and stressful reality, they gain control over you. Don’t tell them what scares you — they will use it against you.
They will completely isolate you from your closest circle. At work, they bomb you with a ton of tasks. You will strive to complete them all to please the inspirational leader, supportive manager, word-famous expert, and your best friend. In a family relationship, the isolation will be caused by small kids you will have shortly after the marriage (otherwise you flee away quite soon, so they will initiate speedy childbirth). Every friend will be forced out, you will have no one to call and ask for help or protection. This is done for a reason — torture enjoys silence.
They will prevent you from professional growth, achievements, and independence. Whatever you do, will be regarded as not the right fit for you. Your hobby will become “too stupid and not profitable”. Your work will be called “too stressful and exhausting”. Your achievements will be diminished and treated like something that is not worth either your time or their mentioning. In a work situation, you will be offered an obvious downgrade instead of a normal position pre-assuming some career path, growth and development. They will make you lose many of your skills. As a result, you will become unable to exist without the abuser’s support and goodwill.
Endangering: Why It Works?
A human can only focus on one thing at a time. Causing stress, the aggressor can play the role of a superman who rescues you or prefers not to help you — this will make you think that you are not good enough for them to care. In fact, you should remember who caused the stress itself. They will deny it, but sooner or later you’ll find out that they put you in this dangerous situation being fully aware of the consequences.
Of course, when it all smells imprisoning or creates a threat to their reputation, they will provide minimal help. However, if no punishment will follow, they will continue to play sadistic tricks over you. Don’t ever be trapped by poisonous thoughts like “if this happened to me, I am not good enough”. Later you might discover that all your problems were caused by the aggressor defaming you or blocking the mutual friends’ attempts to help you. Don’t be too quick to blame yourself.
Endangering: Real-World Examples
One of my police contacts once told me about a killer who was throwing stones down on ladies while he was standing on the roof. The situation of control over the victim’s life and death lead to orgasms, so he practiced it due to sexual motives. Normal courtesy was too boring for that criminal. Many sad stories of domestic abuse sound like “we had a terrible quarrel, he was humiliating me, I kneeled down and was crying, and then we had sex”. If someone is addicted to after-quarrel sex, it’s a bad sign. Someday this person might kill you — unfortunately, it happened to the young and talented Anastasia Yeshchenko…
Endangering: How to Protect Yourself From It?
Watch out for overly sweet but insincere people with pleasing manners. In most cases, sadists know very well that their unhealthy affections don’t look good to people. So they conceal their passion for torture quite well pretending that they are normal and sane. However, you should pay attention to their verbal markers of violence. This goes beyond consciousness, and sooner or later they will start to feel relaxed and share what appeals to them most. They will use words like ‘oppress’, ‘chase’, ‘torture’, ‘possess’, “dominate” in their strange jokes. In many cases, they will also play with love and sex topics because for them it’s also about control and torture. So when you hear ‘seduce’ instead of ‘hire’ or ‘love’ instead of ‘appreciate’ do avoid such organizations and people.
If you did not mean dating a person, and they hint everyone that you are their sexual trophy or even introduce you as their partner, beware of them. When you hear that a person talks about quarrels, sex-related defaming, failures, manipulations positioning all these like ‘fun stuff’, do avoid them. You’ll be their next target. If their sense of humor pre-assumes making others feel bad, lost, or embarrassed, think of escaping from such a person. They enjoy your helplessness and their own cruelty. They might and will endanger you if you let them do it. Push back on such jokes. Be tough. Escape early. Your true friends will never want to see you weak.
Conclusion
Abandon the hypothesis of a strong shoulder you need to feel safe, no one can take care of you better than yourself. Your awesome self. Sadists often target people seeking parent-like care. They will imitate love to catch you. They might even hire someone threatening you to see how you are asking them for help. Being alone in this with the Master playing the role of the only person who can rescue you — these are the grounds for developing an addiction.
Sadistic personalities create an army of addicts whom they can stab in the back having no fear for punishment. An addict is just a servant to the Master, and they never care for servants. Their goal is to push you towards this mental slavery, and they will use all means to keep you controlled, helpless, having no close people or alternatives for escape. If you don’t want all this to ruin your life, relationships, health, and career, close your doors for such a person forever. They should have no access to your world once you discover who they are.
