Feeling Closer to You

Vulnerability Is Scary.

36 Questions to Deepen Relationships (Part II)

Sieran Lane
Motivate the Mind
Published in
12 min readApr 4, 2022

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An Absol, a dark type pokemon with four legs, white fur, a pearly-grey face, and a reaper-shaped horn on its head. The Absol looks up adorably with a friendly smile on his face.
When your cute Pokemon buddy feels closer to you after getting to know you better. Just wanted to lighten things up before things get serious. Photo by author from Pokemon Go

Click here for Part I. Or go to Part III

Chills race down your frame. You tense up, because someone asked you a question that makes you feel too vulnerable.

You dodge and hum. You debate with yourself whether to answer it or not. Just because many other people are open about their lives, doesn’t mean you should be, too.

You don’t want to let the public know about your private feelings. What if people laugh? What if they hate me and never want to hear from me again?

A black and brown puppy curled up in a corner, looking afraid and vulnerable.
Feeling too vulnerable and scared. Photo courtesy of ANRiPhoto on DepositPhotos

But against all your best instincts, you answer them anyway, because you don’t want to back down. And maybe, just maybe, people will ironically like you more after they hear your backstory.

In this landmark psychological research study, strangers asked each other increasingly personal and intimate questions. Scary as this sounds, the participants got to know each other better and felt closer in the end. Some of them even become friends.

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Sieran Lane
Motivate the Mind

A queer trans writer and therapist. I help fiction writers complete their novels. Let's connect! https://sieranlane.ghost.io