Don’t congratulate me on March 8th
I suffer on women’s day because I look like a woman, but I am not one. People see me, a person who have breasts and wide hips and assume I am a women. I am reminded that I am seen as a women by almost everyone, and on Women’s Day I can’t escape it. This day is a major source of gender dysphoria .
I know I am not the best ally to women for saying this, but this day hurts not only because of my dysphoria. On March 8th there is a lot of talking about “Women’s Issues”. Some of those issues are also very relevant to me. It hurts that the things I struggle with and effected by are things are not actually mine. I am not a woman, so I am not allowed to talk about them as if they belong to me, even if they happen to me. I am only an ally in this battle. It hurts not to talk about my pain. I may be a bad ally because of that, but on March 8th I keep silent.
It hurts to admit that as a genderqueer I have a privilege over cis and trans women, but I do. As a genderqueer (and autistic) I tend to talk more then other women. It is not that man hear me more, but I do tend to talk more then women in mixed settings. Other women can’t/don’t talk as much (or at all) in these mixed settings. I don’t know why they can’t/don’t, but this is how things are. I am the only not-man to rise their hand and answer questions. I am the only not-man to try and say words out loud.
This is your day, trans* and cis women. I prefer to keep quiet and let you do the talking about your issues, battles and struggles. I try to shut up about these issues everyday, because these are not mine.
Women of all classes, nationalities, disabilities and colors: you are great! You deserve to get all the resources that are denied from you because of your gender/s. I will help when I can on any other day, just not today. It is too painful.
