FEMINISM, ANTI-PATRIARCHY AND WOMEN EMPOWERMENT
Women Don’t Need “Femininity” Coaches
You gotta be kidding me with all this nonsense
As a woman, what is more useful in my own life, and in the life of many women I talk to, are voices that usher us to step into our greater selves. To do so in a manner devoid of the male gaze, and centered on ourselves.
I feel sometimes as women that we are doomed to live a pretentious life, where our own needs are often behind those of men.
With all the outpour of these new “femininity” coaches I find the whole phenomenon bizarre. Why are so many women “educating” other women on how to be “soft, feminine, and more appealing to men”?
Building the cages of patriarchy
I’ve previously written about how women often are foot soldiers in the war of patriarchy. Femininity coaches are another factor in this whole saga.
Women essentially police other women for the sake of coveting the male gaze and appealing to idealized male notions of how a woman should exist in the world.
I’ve lived as a woman my entire life. I think I’ve pretty much nailed it, regarding how to be feminine. Furthermore, I’ve also noted that most of these coaches have a narrow definition of the characteristics they deem feminine.
Femininity is often analogous to being soft, docile, alluring, …or plain weak, and in need of being saved by a strong man.
This all sounds like utter BS to me. Instead of more women, promoting more misogyny through the practice of femininity coaching. How about we have more useful coaches for women? Coaches that will help them break free from the shackle of sexism, and patriarchy.
Here are some ideas of the type of coaches that could benefit modern women:
1. Pack up your stuff and exit a toxic relationship coach (There, I said it)
2. Teach him how to clean up after himself coach
3. How to love your single life coach
4. How to have a marriage where you both equally share the emotional labor coach
5. How husbands/boyfriends can learn to cook for themselves coach
6. How to spot a narcissist coach
7. How to empower yourself to not lose yourself in a relationship coach
8. How to take care of your mental health in a relationship coach
9. How to set clear boundaries in a relationship coach
10. How to make sure you aren’t used and abused by a man coach
and so on…
Because most women don’t need further pressure from other women to mold themselves into an ideal “soft, floaty, wispy, opinionless version men will find it appealing. That is adding even more pressure and subjugation to the condition of existing as a woman today.
All these fake-arse coaches out there are propagating toxic comparisons amongst women. Leading to a huge dent in our self-esteem, and a limitation in our self-agency.
We need to live life according to our terms, and define for ourselves what femininity means to us, and how much of it we want to “embrace” in our daily life.
Because femininity and being a female goes beyond catering to the male gaze.
It goes beyond women being assumed for male gratification and utility. Being truly feminine is a holistic and spiritual experience, that heals and nourishes us. Devoid of a man.
A feminine woman can embrace softer, and stronger sides of herself as she deems fit. Devoid of male influence. She might be tomboyish, or very girlie. Who cares?
What matters is that whatever guise she chooses to embrace, she is comfortable in her skin, feels safe, and loves herself and her life.
Writer’s note: I’m Egypt, a multi-passionate writer and poet. I write on many themes. I particularly like to shine a light on areas related to my experience as a woman in a patriarchal society. Have a read of some of my other writing and poetry below. Also, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, thank you.
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