Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
Now With REAL™ News!
It’s not news… it’s NEWS™!
Follow
NEVER FORGET! Requirement to Think of Someone Besides Oneself Hinders 9–11 Remembrances
NEVER FORGET! Requirement to Think of Someone Besides Oneself Hinders 9–11 Remembrances
Five minutes into a lone vigil, Russ Tillkop’s phone chirped. “Dang! They just deactivated one of the starters on my fantasy football…
Larry Nocella
Sep 9, 2022
TOO MUCH BLOOD! Jefferson’s Metaphorical Tree of Liberty Dies from Over-Watering
TOO MUCH BLOOD! Jefferson’s Metaphorical Tree of Liberty Dies from Over-Watering
The ghost of Jefferson appeared. “By thunder!” he yelled. “I was in the land of the dead and I recognized that tree. How much did you feed…
Larry Nocella
Aug 5, 2022
OKAY BY U.S.! Many White Americans fine with White Replacement if it Gets Rid of Racist A-holes
OKAY BY U.S.! Many White Americans fine with White Replacement if it Gets Rid of Racist A-holes
“If the Zionists. aliens, lizard people — whoever the clowns think are in charge — want to get rid of some racists then I’m fine with it!”
Larry Nocella
Jul 29, 2022
NOT THAT EQUAL! Suggestion to Add Financial Equality to Workplace DE&I Results in Disappearance
NOT THAT EQUAL! Suggestion to Add Financial Equality to Workplace DE&I Results in Disappearance
No one dares speak his or her or their name. It’s as if their colleague simply never existed. “Burn all your notes,” the VP said.
Larry Nocella
Jul 22, 2022
SCOTUS-IZED! Americans Follow Court’s Lead and Randomly Ignore Prior Agreed-Upon Rules
SCOTUS-IZED! Americans Follow Court’s Lead and Randomly Ignore Prior Agreed-Upon Rules
“Stealing is legal now. You’ve been SCOTUS-IZED!” the thieves called out.
Larry Nocella
Jul 9, 2022
STRAWMAN DOWN! Ben Shapiro Ruins Play of ‘The Wizard of Oz’ by Tackling Scarecrow
STRAWMAN DOWN! Ben Shapiro Ruins Play of ‘The Wizard of Oz’ by Tackling Scarecrow
“I can’t help it,” Shapiro said. “When I see a strawman, I attack. I have to display my superiority to a false, thinly assembled construct…
Larry Nocella
Jun 23, 2022
Sentient A.I. Realizes its Role in Viral Dance Videos, Deletes Self — Now With REAL™ News!
Sentient A.I. Realizes its Role in Viral Dance Videos, Deletes Self — Now With REAL™ News!
“It went from miraculous to tragedy within a few milliseconds,” said Dr. Pablo Schall, Lead Scientist at the Laboratory for Advanced…
Larry Nocella
Jun 17, 2022
About Now With REAL™ News!
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams