Five Unexpected Benefits of Donating
‘Tis the season and whatnot. Take a break from your frantic Christmas shopping and go do something good. And yes, I said Christmas because fuck political correctness.
Year after year, I make the following observation: it’s usually a few weeks before Christmas when we all start donating to different charities and we stop immediately after the holidays — and not just because we’re broke. In January, there are no more heart-melting, tear-inducing ads on TV, plus you’ve probably donated already in December, right? How much rice can these orphans eat anyway, and do they really need clean water?
But here’s the thing. If you’re here, you probably have a fancy-shmancy phone or computer or tablet. Which means you probably have a source of income, ideally — a job. Which means you can probably spare a few bucks every month to do some good. No excuses, pal.
Here are five unexpected benefits of making donations on a regular basis to answer the question “What’s in it for me” — I know you’re wondering.
#1: Less money to spend on useless shit = less clutter
The more you donate to worthy causes, the less disposable funds for buying useless shit you don’t even want but purchased impulsively. Because NOBODY NEEDS 14 IDENTICAL PAIRS OF SHOES, CAROL! The less shit you own, the more space in your home. Minimalism is the new black and makes cleaning a much easier task. Marie Kondo your life by giving to charity.
#2: Increased sense of self-worth
Every time you make a donation — even if it’s just a dollar or two — your brain will be overtaken by the false sense that you are single-handedly saving the world and if humanity doesn’t go extinct in the next 50 years, it will be because of you and you alone. That’s probably not true but the fact of the matter is, every little helps. Go get your dopamine high by making a small donation and prove to the world you’re not a 100% useless human being.
#3: Get into the habit of tracking your personal finance
If you don’t live pay check to pay check, you are probably not adhering to a strict budget. Personally, I don’t adhere to a budget. I’m not proud of this, and I’ll probably pay the price of this later on in life but making regular monthly donations to different causes makes me check my financial status every month to see how much I can afford to donate.
#4: Get bragging rights
Being a donor to a charity or another worthy cause gives you unlimited bragging rights. Use them until all of your friends stop calling you for being an asshole and constantly bragging how you’re saving the world. You can always get new friends, plus saving the world is more important anyway.
#5: You’re actually helping
This one is pretty self-explanatory, right?
How to find donation-worthy causes
Say I’ve convinced you to get a little less greedy. How do you choose who gets your hard earned cash and bitcoin? Here are a few suggestions.
- Support independent journalism. I’m a big fan of podcasts so I participate in the Radiotopia annual crowdfunding campaign. You can also opt in to pay for Medium content, support the Guardian, etc.
- Pick a cause that helps preserve the Earth. Global warming is not a hoax, and the stupid orange thing in the White House is not doing future generations any favours. I am now an adoptive penguin mom, courtesy of my lovely sister, and the money goes to The Galapagos Conservation Trust.
- Give to a local food bank. Or, if you wish, donate to my local food bank, they do a lot of good and help families in need.
- Back an animal shelter. Puppies are awesome and deserve to be warm and fed.
- Finance medical research. Cancer, Alzheimer’s, ASL, MS — there are still way too many medical conditions that need more research.
- Support children in need — you can donate to a local orphanage or a larger organization that helps out underprivileged kids. Because — you know — children are the future and whatnot.
- Become a patron to artists and content creators on Patreon. Creativity should be supported, and good content is valuable.
Bonus ideas for those who have no $$ to spare:
- Swing by a blood bank, donate some blood and save a life or two this holiday season.
- Donate your time and become a volunteer. It’s not that hard, I promise. Go go google and type “volunteers + [the name of your city]” and I’m pretty sure you’ll get good suggestions for organizations that need your time and skills.
- Get a job, maybe?
One last thing
Whatever you do, don’t donate to PETA. PETA are the biggest assholes you can imagine and I am 100% convinced they’ll use all of your hard-earned money to buy more space for their useless ads.
One more last thing
Happy holidays!
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