The Disintegration of Sexual Paraphilias
Thesis, Antithesis and Synthesis in Human Evolution
Book Contents
Introduction
The Natural Order (Thesis)
The Early Natural Order
The Pleasure Function
The Destruction of the Natural Order (Antithesis)
Reductionism and Moralism
Repression and Perversion
Love vs. Split-Love
The Disintegration of Sexual Paraphilias
Parent-Child Codependence and Emotional Child Abuse
The Oedipal Mold and Oedipal Culture
Mysticism and Atheism
Narcissism
Denial of Complexity
The Plague of Sadism
Conspiracy Thinking vs. Critical Thinking
Youth Fascism
The New Natural Order (Synthesis)
The Eight Dynamic Patterns of Living
The Twelve Branches of the Tree of Knowledge
The True Religio
Toward a Science of Life
Primary Power and Permissive Education
Research Bibliography
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Page Contents
Definition
Gerontophilia
Pedophilia or Childlove
Boylove or Pederasty
On the Existence of Nepiophilia
Childlove in Literature
References
Definition
In psychology and sexology, paraphilia is a term that describes sexual arousal in response to sexual objects or situations which may interfere with the capacity for reciprocal affectionate sexual activity. Paraphilia may also be used to imply non-mainstream sexual practices without necessarily implying any dysfunction or moral deviance.
Gerontophilia
Gerontophilia literally means love for the elderly, or, if a child is concerned, for adult intimate partners. Gerontophilic desires are mirroring pedophilic desires and manifest and express love and sexual attraction for older people than oneself.
Gerontophilic emotions can be present in adults or children. For example, workers in institutions for the elderly may at times experience attraction to one or the other elder patients. Children experience residual gerontophilic attraction toward adults, probably not for all adults they consider as caretakers or close friends, but for some of them.
However, it has to be seen that this potential attraction is amplified and crystallized through the psychoanalytic construct of the ‘Oedipus Complex.’
Generally speaking, much is unknown in this area as child psychology and sexology, under the spell of the rigid mainstream paradigm, have till now not been able to reveal the cognitive framework that comprehensively explain our love choices in general, and the love choices of children, in particular. It appears that gerontophilia is a conditioned response in children reared in societies that do not allow children to live their sexuality, early in life, with peers; thus what happens is that children’s emotional and sexual energies are channeled toward their parents.
Freud’s assumption the Oedipus Complex was universal is in the meantime refuted by anthropological research. In tribal societies where children enjoy uninhibited peer sexuality, they are not or very little gerontophilic, and in fact in these societies, for example the Trobriand islands, pedophilia and gerontophilia have been found equally non-existent by the field researchers Bronislaw Malinowski and Margaret Mead as early as in the 1920s.
—See, The Early Natural Order, supra.
Gerontophilic feelings and tendencies are in psychoanalysis discussed under the header of ‘Oedipal’ desires. Regarding other adults than the parents, caretakers, educators, friends or even strangers, psychoanalysis was and is reluctant to admit children’s gerontophilic emotions. Among the few professionals who were outspoken about these desires was the French psychoanalyst and child therapist Françoise Dolto (1908–1988).
Pedophilia or Childlove
My approach to pedophilia is markedly different from mainstream psychology, sexology and the mouthpiece media of the international child protection industry in that I acknowledge the hitherto suspiciously overlooked existence of pedoemotions as a universal form of adult-child attraction that is biologically programmed for the continuation of the human race.
Pedoemotions are a natural manifestation of pedophilic attraction, without however being per se sexual — as the word says. They are namely first of all emotional, as the primacy in attraction is emotional, not sexual. And I say this in full consciousness that it’s against the mechanistic setup of mainstream sexology.
Pedophilia then, is to be considered as a condensation and sexualization of pedoemotions. Why pedoemotions can crystallize into an exclusive emotional attraction for children that becomes sexualized is not yet known, and I keep away from daring speculations. Many hypotheses have been aired that show more of the individual bias of the researcher than about anything else. The mainstream ones stress that early abuse with the reverse effect of abused becoming abuser is to be found in a high number of cases. But of course, forensic research always only investigates cases that go to court, and thus where things have gone wrong and relationships went south, in one way or the other.
Lesser known theories come up with genetic and karmic factors, or consider the possibility that pedophilia may be a hidden form of incest (Lloyd DeMause). The latter hypothesis seems to contradict the fact that pedophilia is by definition a relationship between an adult and a child not affiliated with each other, as in the contrary case we speak about incest in direct or indirect line. To mix up and mess up this clear distinction means to mix up and mess up dream and reality. One may well fantasize about incestuous relations, but that does not make one a pedophile! In fact, much research on heterosexual men and women has been undertaken that found a considerable amount of incestuous fantasies during masturbation, and yet these men and women were and remained heterosexual in their overall sexual behavior, and did not suddenly turn into pedophiles just because of their fantasies. The fact of men or women being exclusively sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children, refusing to have sexual conduct with an adult is something very seldom to be found in tribal cultures.
In my research on native cultures and shamanism, I found references for such behavior, but in every case the person that the author was referring to was considered to be the village idiot, a marginal freak that most people did not take serious and that often is allowed to have his way with children who are equally marginal, typically mentally retarded or handicapped children. And last not least, we should consider that human beings are not automatons and constantly make love choices, which means that they vote for options.
What I am saying is that there is a certain amount of conscious choice involved in the fact that a person becomes a pedophile, for years or even decades of their lives. There may be a love choice for children, or for boys only, or girls only, as a result of emotional frustration, a broken marriage or many broken or accidented heterosexual or homosexual relations with adult partners. This has never been considered in research and this is logically so because sexology is completely mechanistic and considers human sexual attraction more or less as a set of automatisms that result from early sexual conditioning.
I believe there is choice involved in creating a pedophile identity. While this identity may be a fake identity as it is based solely on sexual attraction, and not upon soul values, it’s an identity nonetheless. Why men and women choose this identity is hardly known, and it’s difficult to comprehend because suffering surely is involved in this choice as current society’s virulently rejects this kind of emosexual attraction.
I believe we will gain much insight in the human nature, and in love, once we begin to dare revisiting pedophilia research with this special perspective and focus in mind. It may also lead to a greater understanding of men and women who have done such love choices, despite the often painful social situation that this involves.
I am saying that sexology knows nothing of the etiology of pedophilia; this is so because the truth can only be found through research on the human energy field and not on sexual behavior. This is so because sexual attraction follows emotional addiction, and not the other way around.
So the answer if the hen or the egg was first can be answered clearly in this case: first comes emotional attraction, and then, if ever, such attraction may become sexualized for reasons that we still ignore.
Boylove or Pederasty
Boylove is the eroticized friendship and love of adult men with pubescent and with lesser likelihood pre-pubescent boys that is idealized to a certain extent, and where sexual interaction is not sought after as a primary means to engage the relation, but as an add-on in a more encompassing relationship that is guided by a pedagogical interest of the boylover for the educational welfare of his love boy.
Boylove has been reported from all ancient cultures around the world, since the beginnings of written history. While it has been repressed with equal universality by all major religions, it survives in subtle forms and is today better organized than the girllove movement.
One substantial point in the agenda of both boylove organizations and homosexuals is to explain to the public that boylovers are not homosexuals, and that homosexuals typically have no interest in boys, as the general public generally tends to confuse homosexuality and boylove.
Another important point in the public agenda of boylove organizations for example in the United States, Holland or Germany is that they stress that they are not rapists and sex offenders, but that their love is based upon respect for the boy and consent from the side of the boy.
In a 1982 study at the Faculty of Psychology of the University of Utrecht in Holland, conducted by Professor Dr. Theo Sandfort, a sample of twenty-five man-boy couples was taken and investigated, through interviews of both the boys and their lovers, and the results showed a surprising incidence of non-conflictual parameters. In fact, in one third of the cases, the parents of the boy were informed about the relation and allowed it to continue.
In the other cases, a slight but not pathological amount of stress has been noted that was caused by the fact that the relation had to be kept secret both in front of the boy’s parents and society at large. But the most surprising outcome of the study was that the sexual aspect of the relation was not causing any significant amount of stress, let alone harm, and in all relations the boys fully consented to sex, while the general tenor was that sex is not the most important part of the relation, but rather values like emotional closeness, security, trust and shared activities. Regarding sexual activities, it was clearly established that penetration had occurred only in a minority of the cases and that in most cases the sexual behavior was of a masturbatory kind, including fondling and kissing.
On the Existence of Nepiophilia
The difference between pedophilia and nepiophilia is that in nepiophilia the love object is considerably younger, typically a small child, baby or toddler. Paidós, in old Greek, means child or boy, but a child that is no more a baby. Nepiós, typically and by distinction from paidós, is a baby or toddler.
There has been a phase in my life, more than twenty years ago and while an unhappy childless marriage was coming to its end, that my sexual orientation turned very strongly toward young children of both sexes. It was not an exclusive attraction, but the joy that being around small children procured me at that time was so unique, so unusual, so great and so fulfilling that I was opting for a new career as an early child educator, and acquired a degree in early child care.
The subtle eroticism in my relations with small children and toddlers was distinct from what I formerly lived as so-called normal sexuality with my wife — very different. First, it was certainly not sexuality in the sense of the word, but a sensual interaction that involved subtle feelings to be qualified as erotic, but not as sexual, accompanied by strong excitement, or enthusiasm, and sometimes temporary sexual arousal.
It was certainly not something even remotely similar to going to bed with a person and having an orgasm, but something ongoing and so subtle that nobody being present in the same room would even notice it. It was also an excitement that is pregenital, so to say, in that in most cases it is not marked by a phallic erection. This experience actually led me to later discover the existence of pedoemotions.
Often times, during that phase of my life, I was wondering if not women, mothers, female babysitters and teachers do in fact have similar feelings, so much more of what I had read in female reports about sexual excitement, something namely that is felt in your whole body at once, much like an electric current. For example, when I oiled a baby boy’s body after his bath —he was at that time around twenty months old — and he smiled at me, I also felt tingling sensations in my fingertips and my hand palms. I think the boy has been energized through that tender massage because sometimes, he jumped up from the baby table and put his arms up like a little gorilla, full of strength and joy.
In clinical studies and statistics about pedophilia or sexology in general, it is often stated that nepiophilia was a very marginal phenomenon in human sexuality. I doubt these findings on the basis of the evidence, the observations and personal statements and views that I have accumulated throughout the years of my research.
Today, I tend to think that nepiophilia has the same importance as general childlove within the total range of pedoemotions that the human being is invested with by nature. Apart from that more general view, I can make out a certain dynamics in our sexual drive that is functional and dependent upon the tasks we wish to fulfill in life.
For example, a new parent is naturally more invested with nepiophile emotions than with pedophile ones, simply because nature wants them to take care of their small child. Once that boy or girl is a budding adolescent, the father may perhaps think back of that toddler with a strange feeling of ‘how could I possibly be so crazy about that little child at that time?’ Because now our good father is crazy about his budding school girl! And that is good so and should be so. It is the very reason why we procreate, because the life function is a pleasure function.
Childlove in Literature
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, while he had himself pederastic inclinations, that he openly revealed in many of his letters, found it probably too daring and offensive to present the original Faust tale to the German bourgeoisie of his time. Goethe’s Faust is thus a variation, and to a certain extent a falsification of the original Dr. Faustus plot that was quite different and had nothing to do with a man-woman relationship. In the original tale, Dr. Faustus was namely a school teacher and pederast who was imprisoned for sexual relations with some of the children in his class.
Goethe’s Faust however counts a new tale involving a young girl named Gretchen who was dishonored by Faust. It’s interesting that Goethe maintained in his version the element of a sexual offense, and this detail is indeed significant because in these times any form of non-marital sexuality was considered by the Church as being instigated by the devil or devilish instincts.
Death in Venice by Thomas Mann is a clear account of pederastic feelings of a German academic and poet called Aschenbach toward a beautiful 14-year old Polish boy with the name of Tadzio he met in a resort hotel on the Lido in Venice. The base idea of the story is most probably autobiographic. The tale ends with the outbreak of cholera and Aschenbach’s sudden death despite a highly alarming premonitory dream. In fact, he had already packed and went to the railway station in time, but returned because sudden strong desire instigated in him the wish to seduce the boy sexually. His desire ended in a fatal way, and that bad end of the otherwise enthralling and erotically appealing story tells more about its author than about anything else. In fact, in many of his writings, Mann subtly reveals that he had strong feelings for boys that he however never admitted to realize during his lifetime, to appear as the perfect citizen. This attitude was criticized after his death as being hypocrite and false, as it occurred with an artist and poet.
Paul Goodman (1911–1972) was an American poet, writer, and public intellectual. Goodman is now remembered as a notable political activist in the 1960s and early 70s. Politically he described himself as an anarchist, sexually as bisexual, and professionally as a man of letters. Less widely known is his role as a co-founder of Gestalt Therapy. In this regard, he was strongly influenced by Otto Rank’s here-and-now approach to psychotherapy, fundamental to Gestalt therapy, as well as Rank’s post-Freudian book Art and Artist (1932).
The freedom with which he revealed, in print and in public, his homosexual life and loves proved to be one of the many important cultural springboards for the emerging gay liberation movement of the early 1970s. However, his own views ran counter to the modern construction of homosexuality. It was his opinion that it was pathological not to be able to make love to someone of the opposite sex, but that it was equally pathological not to be able to experience homosexual pleasure. Likewise, it was his view that sexual relationships between men and boys were natural, normal and healthy, and that they could lay the foundation for continuing friendship even after the sexual response is outgrown.
André Gide (1869–1951) was a French author and winner of the Nobel Prize in literature in 1947. Gide’s work can be seen as an investigation of freedom and empowerment in the face of moralistic and puritan constraints, and gravitates around his continuous effort to achieve intellectual honesty. His self-exploratory texts reflect his search of how to be fully oneself, to the point of owning one’s sexual nature, without at the same time betraying one’s values. His political activity is informed by the same ethos, as suggested by his repudiation of communism after his 1936 voyage to the USSR. Known for his fiction as well as his autobiographical works, Gide exposes to public view the conflict and eventual reconciliation between the two sides of his personality, split apart by a straightlaced education and a narrow social moralism — as he perceives himself: the austere and refined Protestant, and the divinely inspired — and no longer blushing — pederast.
Yukio Mishima was the public name of Kimitake Hiraoka (1925–1970), a Japanese author and playwright, famous for both his highly notable nihilistic post-war writings and the circumstances of his ritual suicide.
Mishima began his first novel in 1946 followed by Confessions of a Mask, an autobiographical work about a young latent homosexual who must hide behind a mask in order to fit into society. The novel was extremely successful and made Mishima a celebrity at the age of twenty-four. Mishima was a disciplined and versatile writer. He wrote not only novels, popular serial novellas, short stories, and literary essays, but also highly-acclaimed plays for the Kabuki theater and modern versions of traditional Noh drama.
Although he visited gay bars in Japan, Mishima reportedly remained an observer, and had affairs with men only when he traveled abroad. After briefly considering an alliance with Michiko Shoda — she later became the wife of Emperor Akihito — he married Yoko Sugiyama in 1958. Over the next three years, the couple had a daughter and a son.
These examples are by no means exhaustive. Also note that in older literature, and in non-Western literature, the present-day clear distinction between pederasty and homosexuality was not that clear-cut and often blurred. Especially with Yukio Mishima this is the case, as many of a ‘young man’ in the writings of this and many other writers would today be called a boy. The same is the case with Oscar Wilde.
So the label homosexual attributed to many authors has to be questioned. Things are not that clear-cut in our feelings, emotions and sexual attractions, and life’s intrinsic erotic complexity is dangerously reduced by such kind of labeling and self-labeling. In Goethe’s case things are much more evident in this respect as it’s clear from his letters and otherwise documented that he for example had a love relation with a 6-year old boy who was the son of Baroness von Stein, one of Goethe’s lifelong friends and admirers.
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