Dear Amazon…

(Open Letter Experiment?)

[Disclaimer: I do NOT hate Amazon; I’m actually a big fan! So this is not a “F*** You” letter; more like “Dude, Come on, WTF?! Seriously?!” like I’d send to a friend]


  • Item ordered: Jan. 22, 2017
  • Shipping Confirmation: Jan. 24, 2017
  • Item Still “In Transit” as of FEBRUARY — 2018!
    (And seller turned out to be a SERIAL SCAMMER!)


  • I contacted Amazon in late February, 2017. I was instructed to contact the seller. So I did:
Above is my original message (to seller), March 1, 2017
Her super-sketchy response March 5th, 2017: “Hello, your package has been sent, we apologize to inform you that the recent strict customs check caused by logistics delay, causing inconvenience to you please forgive us, we will solve problem as soon as possible! please wait patiently!”
Yes, obviously that sounds like bullsh*t… BUT… I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt! (MAYBE “Makayla Adermann” was a down-on-her-luck, single mom, working 3 jobs to support 5 kids, and was just going through a difficult time in her life!?!)
  • I decided to cut her some slack and “wait patiently” as she requested.
  • I emailed again on May 10th. (No Response) And again on Sept. 22nd:
Shockingly, no response.
Ok, let’s fast-forward… Here are the steps I followed — multiple times:
  • I found the link for “Help with order” Good first step?
  • I clicked “Package didn’t arrive”… (Everybody cool with that so far?)
Wait, I’m sorry, what shipping Carrier is that again?!?
Not UPS or FedEx or USPS, but “E??” ???
  • Nice that it consistently said “Expected by Feb 9” (even on New Years Eve!)
  • Several times in 2017, I clicked “Still can’t find it” — which repeatedly brought me to:
So, which do YOU think I should have asked for — refund or replacement???
NOTE: There were NO RED FLAGS on her feedback back in January, 2017 (100% positive ratings) when I made the purchase. But, NOW is a different story:
(All of these reviews came AFTER my order)

OH SH*T!!!

Hey, Amazon… my friend… Hypothetical question: How long do you let a seller like “Makayla” stay on your platform?? And, if/when you determine you have a scammer seller, do you ever notify people like me who are patiently waiting for deliveries? (Just curious)


So, Amazon, my dear friend…

[Message to Seller on Sept. 22nd, 2017]



PHASE 1 Goals: A) to reach difficult-to-reach people? (6-degrees-of-separation?), B) to give Jeff’s random thoughts/ideas/rants an audience greater than 3?, C) to get thoughts/ideas/rant sout of his head, quiet his brain, and maybe get some sleep? PHASE 2: Possibly open to others

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