You don’t need to win the race

Dear Son,

The other day we saw you running from one corner of the living room to another and had to simply stop and admire you. I couldn’t fathom where you got the energy to run so much give you had been to the playground not once but thrice that day! I also couldn’t help wonder how fast you had grown — feels like only yesterday when I brought you back from the hospital!

Your Dad has huge hopes that you’re going to be a great sportsman — so long as you don’t become addicted to billiards like him I don’t care what sport you play. Did you know so convinced was he that you’d be a boy (and an active one) that he made you a “Daddy’s favourite Sportsman” onesie even before you were born? Whether you do actually go on to be a sportsman or not is your choice but today I wanted to talk to you about something that’s common to not only all players but even regular folk like Dad and me. I wanted to talk about ‘The Race’.

As you grow up you will often hear people tell you that Life is a Race. From your height to your educational performance to how many kids you have to how much money you make. Each and every thing will be up for comparison. It’s not just the quality of your achievements. There is also a perpetual race for even the speed at which you achieve these!

With so much competition every where, it is easy to feel defeated. News stories abound of children that have hurt themselves because they performed poorly in an exam or even about adults that have hurt loved ones for being different from society. From the time you were born in fact there has been pressure on me and you about when you will sleep, how long you will take to walk or even how long you will live.

I want you to know that I don’t care what race you win or even if you don’t win any!

You see, winning the race isn’t important because winning has a different meaning for you from what it does for me. It all depends on what you value most. Even the thing you value will not remain constant. Some days you may seek adventure and on others you will seek love. Therefore, while comparing yourself to peers may seem like a good way of judging your performance there is in fact a better way.

The best way is to compete with only one player — yourself. You choose which race you wish to run, how long you want to run it for and what you consider ‘winning’. The rules and the goal posts can keep changing as many times as you like. The only thing that really matters is that you participate in the race and that you try your very best each day to be a better version of yourself.

I will end here by saying that if you must pick a race to win, choose happiness. That’s the only one worth winning.

This post is part of the annual #BlogChatterA2Z Challenge .When my son was born I promised myself I’d write him love letters as often as I could as this challenge is part of that promise. R is for You don’t need to win the Race. Do follow P for Parenting for more articles in this series and to read my next post, Sleep, there’s something you should know.