Choose Your Own Trump: A Speech That Ignites Your Base

(an interactive adventure)

This is a choice within an interactive adventure with 48 choices and 25 endings. If you’ve stumbled upon this, you can start from the beginning here.

“This was not about me. This was about you.”

You pause for dramatic effect. You look great.

“This was not a campaign. This was a movement.”

You’re doing great.

“Speaking of movements, right now our country is poop. I mean, it’s a real toilet-clogger. But now that will all change. On the campaign trail, I pledged to drain the swamp. What I realize now is that we need to flush the toilet. Say bye-bye to this turd of a country. We’re going to Make America Great Again.”

Your hair is perfect.

“Bottom line: America is not great. It used to be great. But now? Not great. So we’re going to go back in time to when it was great. I’m thinking 1956 roughly, but we’ll see, it’s complicated, complicated business. We might have to take a poll. We’re suffering now. Maybe we should go back to before we started suffraging. We might have to go back further. Andrew Jackson, great guy. Washington, Jefferson, these were great Presidents. Maybe we need to go back to a time before we started compromising. Did you know we started compromising back in 1787? Maybe that’s why our country has only been three-fifths as good as it could have been.”