Poor Man’s Time Machine Part II
The danger seems to have passed us by, although how great it was or what its nature is now sadly lost to my recollection and, I fear, to all human recollection. I only know I woke up this morning on the banks of aetherial plain with the cold tang of inverted tachyons fresh on the air, and steam rising from the copper-plating of converted bathtub I use for all my time traveling.
My hair was uncombed and slightly burnt, but I was wearing a panama hat so you wouldn’t notice right away. I stood up, all my limbs were there and in the right order too! I couldn’t be 100 percent sure but I felt pretty confident no major rewrites to human evolution had occurred. All of this led me to assume that we had escaped some kind of paradox chain, classical Thomkorl’s time theory.
I looked down at my hand, it was holding a piece of burnt parchment. I laughed remembering that old E.L (Edgar Lawrence) always used to say “when you survive a temporal storm and can’t remember exactly what happened, look at your hands, probability is you snatched a clue back from beyond”
I read the parchment, I recognized it, lines from the poem The Hanged Man from The Mixtape of Taliesin
Nothingness Hash Nirvanas Native Dances…
with the word Nirvanas circled in red, but missing the s. The parchment looks like real vellum, not that ersatz stuff that was all the rage in 2110. I probably shouldn’t discount out of hand that this clue is supposed to point me in the direction of a certain Welsh Monastery in the early 7th century, but really I have the word Texas spinning in my head which makes me think this is pretty likely this is all about that bastard Gibby Haynes who still owes me 20 bucks!
Ok, just think about it for a minute people — Texas, where Gibby is from — and Nirvana, whose Lead singer (Kurt Cobain) said the Butthole Surfers (a band Gibby is in) was one of his ten favorite bands! I think there’s a pretty clear line here.
Ok, so there’s that. Pretty sure whatever happened something to do with Texas and Gibby.
Then I go check my logs — the different documents scattered through the multiversal internet. It’s always important to have documentation, those who do not have history written down are doomed to loop it again some time.
And I find — this — a document called the Poor Man’s Time Machine — funny that, I’m a real funny guy sometimes. Only the document is just some gibberish and some visions into the blackness of the void — a collapsed version of Utriusque Cosmi which is obviously one end of the time passway that no longer has an egress into the reality that was threatening existence.
Which is cool, I don’t want to go back there, but I really would like to know what the log said before it got collapsed and reality righted and all our lives saved due to whatever heroic actions I performed. Now as is my general habit I have probably spread bits of the log out to protect against anything but the most cataclysm time cascades, so I expect there are bits of left around. If you are in possession of some of this knowledge from the log can you make it available to me — I really would like to restore the log for the simple reason that knowledge is a tool that makes us all safer.
And just to set everyone’s minds at ease just in case they weren’t at ease I promise I have absolutely no ulterior motives for retrieving this information. So that¨s all cool now.
This urgent appeal for help was posted by IG Agent 99.
on edit: sorry if it’s not the best written appeal, but I am of course a bit discombobulated, and have more urgent matters to consider than grammatical correctness.
Note from IG Agent 86
I have edited this article to refer to other articles that are related
